Ep. 18 - Lauren Sisler Interview Transcript

The Behavioral Corner 

Hi, and welcome. I'm Steve Martorano. And this is the Behavioral Corner; you're invited to hang with us, as we've discussed the ways we live today, the choices we make, the things we do, and how they affect our health and wellbeing. So you're on the corner, the Behavioral Corner, please hang around a while. 

Steve Martorano 

Here we are again and you know what? I have got the best job in the world. I come and I hang on the corner. This is the sort of behavior that my parents used to frown upon. But now it's ours. It's the Behavioral Corner and we talk to people from all walks of life. Because we have a big broad topic. Generally speaking, it's about behavioral health. And real quickly, what that's about is the way we behave, the choices we make affect us, they affect us physically, they affect us spiritually. That's certainly the case with the guests we have today. Lauren Sisler is with us on the corner. She is leading what I think many, many people who will hear this will go that's a pretty sweet gig. Lauren apparently grew up a sports fan and finds herself now an award-winning national reporter for ESPN. Yeah, that ESPN. She covers lots of stuff, not least of which is college football, we'll find out what that's like during a pandemic. And the SEC, in particular with the SEC Network. Lauren had an event in her life early on, that can only be described as earth-shaking. A shattering, shattering realism about a family secret, deep and darkly hidden. Lauren Sisler is our guests on the behavioral corner line. Thanks for hanging with us.

Lauren Sisler 

Hey, so great to hang with you on the corner. I appreciate it. Always love a good conversation and just an opportunity to, to reach people provide some awareness, provide some hope, and really, just to sit down and share my story and have a conversation that I think is very important, especially as we stand here in the midst of this pandemic and try to navigate through, you know, what is going to be, you know, some difficult days ahead, but, you know, we're all getting through it.

Steve Martorano 

And we're all in together. This I'm gonna do and Lauren's familiar with the expression, I'm gonna "bury the lede" here, which is sort of unforgivable. But we're going to do it, a tremendous trauma in her life. But we'll get to that in a minute because it's amazing that she is where she is today and in spite of that. First of all, you're related to the Silser sports family in Philadelphia, where the corner is headquartered. The old-timers remember the Sisler boys, one of whom one of the most important home runs in Philadelphia Phillies history way back in the early 50s. You're a niece of that group? 

Lauren Sisler 

I am I removed I guess, George Sisler. That's a "Gorgeous George." Right? 

Steve Martorano 

Yep. 

Lauren Sisler 

Great, great, great uncle. So I come from the Sisler bloodline, have a little connection to it, you know, a distant connection. And then, of course, you know, baseball in the bloodline, and, you know, athletics, if you will, of course, for me, my athletic background comes with gymnastics, which was something I fell in love with at a very early age. And, you know, certainly, you know, did my best to move up the ranks and go to college as a scholarship gymnast at Rutgers. And I'm sure we'll get a little bit into that as we dive into my story a little bit more. But yeah...

Steve Martorano 

That's another local connection for us because we're not very far from your alma mater. Where did you grow up?

Lauren Sisler 

I grew up in Roanoke, Virginia, southwestern part of the state and I like to call it "God's country" all the mountains and you know some of my fondest memories there in Roanoke, Virginia, where I grew up, and you know, as we enter into the this time of year, the Fall fall foliage just doesn't get any better in that area and just getting to see the seasons change and, and whatnot. So I certainly miss it. I tried to go back from time to time, visit my family there, and spend some time with family and friends.

Steve Martorano 

You're Alabama now.

Lauren Sisler 

Yep. I am in Birmingham, Alabama. I've been here since 2011. Alabama was never on my radar. But as you mentioned as a sportscaster You know, it takes you to some of the strangest places or the most unimaginable places that you just never thought about. And when I got here in 2011 was essentially we call it recruited as a sports anchor at a local CBS affiliate here in Alabama. I fell in love with Alabama and really have enjoyed my time here and have decided to plant some seeds here plant some roots and my husband and I, you know, we got married in May and so we decided we're gonna stick around for a while.

Steve Martorano 

Yeah, well "Roll Tide" then. Did you envision yourself as a sports journalist early on?

Lauren Sisler 

For me, that actually was not a vision of mine early on I was around sports. As you mentioned, I love watching Washington. On the weekend. We loved watching NASCAR. On the weekend, my brother was on a pit crew at a local track. We used to go out there on Saturday nights. And then, of course, college football was real big in my family. And my brother was a three-sport athlete baseball, football, and basketball. And then for me, it was gymnastics. And so I was around sports my entire life, but actually had my sights set on being a sports doctor and athletic trainer. So I wanted to work in sports, but in a different capacity. So that vision and kind of dream sort of evolved, as I began to get older, as I matured, sort of understanding what went into, you know, being a sports doctor and really realizing that maybe I wasn't cut out for it, and that there was something else that I could do with the sports world. And as we get more into my story, that sort of how that vision evolved. And here I am today, you know, fortunate enough to work at AL.com -- not to be confused with aol.com. Everyone. AL.com is the Alabama sport, and basically the digital news site here in the state. You know, it was a newspaper for many, many years, we still have a newspaper print publication, but primarily digital news. So I'm covering Alabama and Auburn, you know, during the week, and then on Thursday or Friday, I'm hoping in a car or jumping on a plane and heading to whatever game that ESPN has assigned me to any given week. And that's kind of my job. So it's been a lot of fun sounds. 

Steve Martorano 

As I said, living in the dream. How long have you been with the worldwide leader?

Lauren Sisler 

So the first game I did, I did an Auburn game back in 2016. So I sprinkled in a couple of games here and there. And then I was able to work on a gymnastics package. So I was able to be a sideline reporter and an analyst for several gymnastics events. And then things kind of took off from there. And I've been fortunate enough. I've worked on ESPN as well as the SEC Network, which is obviously, you know, the same company owned by Disney. You know, it's been a lot of fun. And of course, it's being in the footprint of the SEC, you can't go wrong when you've covered national championship after national championship after national championship. You know, I came in at a good time getting here in 2011, when Nick Saban was on Iran, and then, of course, Auburn, trying to spoil their hopes periodically, and of course, making it to the 2013 National Championship. Unfortunately, losing that game. But nevertheless, I've covered quite a few championships and my day, certainly can't complain about it.

Steve Martorano 

Well, you know what, as I said, people are listening. I dare say a lot of young women who go how bad this I mean, talk about, you know, a rosy scenario and great, great dream life and career. It almost or could have been quite a different story, because of a phone call you received when you were in college; I think it was a sophomore freshman in college freshman when the phone rings at three o'clock in the morning. Most people know. It's not good news. In Lauren's case, it was devastating news, tell us the story of that phone call.

Lauren Sisler 

As I mentioned, I went to Rutgers on a gymnastic scholarship. And you know, that was a dream of mine as a child, you know, the bright eyed and bushy-tailed child that I was always, you know, admired Mary Lou Retton and the Perfect 10 and The Magnificent Seven in the 1996 Olympics. And, you know, I wanted to achieve that goal of going to the next level and for me that was earning a college scholarship. And so, you know, we were a close-knit family with me and my mom and my dad, Leslie and George Sisler. And then my brother Alan, and we were super close, had a great relationship my parents were always so involved in my athletics as well as my brothers You know, my dad was always volunteering to coach my brother sports, and you know, my mom always taken me to and from practice every day and you know, they were just very devoted to our careers and athletics as well as our success and academics and in life. You know, we had a very supportive family so when I earned that college scholarship to go to Rutgers and signed by letter of intent, it was a proud moment for both of my parents. Two very proud parents and for me because I felt like I had worked really hard for this and was able to give back to my mom and dad the time and money that they dedicated to the sport of gymnastics. And so here I am off to Rutgers, living out my dream to be a scholarship, collegiate gymnast, and you know, things seem normal. You know, I'm off I'm at school, there's a lot of adjustments that come with being away I was eight hours from home and you know, I still maintain that strong relationship with my parents. I talked to them every single day. Not a day went by that I did not talk to them. Always picked up the phone. Hey, you know, how's practice going? You know how school and You know, just continuously checking in and just keeping tabs on what they were doing. And they were always keeping tabs on me. And so fast forward to the second, my second semester, it was in March of 2003. And I picked up the phone like I always did call, my parents had a normal conversation, everything seemed fine, and hung up the phone with "I love you." And that was it, and went to bed that night and woke up to a phone call that you mentioned from my father. And of course, it was just after three o'clock in the morning. So my initial reaction and thought were, something's wrong. And I was right. So when I answered the phone, my dad, on the other end, informed me that my mom had died. And when he said that, to me, I was just very confused, because not only had I just talked to her several hours ago, at three o'clock in the morning, you know, he and my mom lived out in a rural part of Virginia, surely they weren't out driving, there would be no reason for them to be out late at night. So what possibly could happen to my mom? And unfortunately, during that phone call, he could not give me answers. He asked me to call my brother and share the news with him, as he couldn't get in touch with them, and to get on the next plane, I could. And he would be at the airport to pick me up. And I just remember feeling just so afraid, so uncertain, and just want answers. And all I wanted to do was get home and running, jumping my dad's arms at that moment. So my plane touches down, I get to the airport, I'm running through the terminal. I head outside. And, you know, I'm hoping that my dad's there to pick me up. I had not been able to get in touch with him for several hours. But you know, he said he was going to be there. And instead, it was my Uncle Mike and my cousin Justin, who were there to pick me up at the airport. And you know, at that time, I just thought, you know, my dad that the hospital taking care of things, everything's going to be okay. Well, as we get in the car, I load up and we start driving out towards the highway from the airport. And I finally worked up the courage to ask my Uncle Mike, I said, Uncle Mike, I said, "Where's my dad?" and he pulled the car over. And he said, "Lauren, I'm sorry, but your dad passed away too."

Steve Martorano 

Hours, after the telephone call from your father?

Lauren Sisler 

Hours after the telephone call from my father, finding out that he too had passed away. And just hearing those words. You know, still to this day, 17 years later, you know, just, it is so sharp and so painful. Just thinking about all the things I had to process. I'm 18 years old, I'm still practically a child. I didn't even know how to write a check. You know, my parents were always so supportive of my brother and I, but it was always focused on your gymnastics focus on your schoolwork will take care of the rest. And so I still had a lot of growing up to do a lot of life to figure out and here I am now living a life without my parents and my two best friends.

Steve Martorano 

I can't imagine even being able to form the question. You race to the airport because your father has told you your mother has suddenly died. No details. You get to the airport to find out that he also is dead. I mean, did you stammer, did you look at your uncle -- what was the first question you asked them?

Lauren Sisler 

You know, I think at that moment, as I recall, with the pure emotion, and really the shock of trying to process reality, right? You have trouble processing, what just happened. 

Steve Martorano 

Trying to make sense of it.

Lauren Sisler 

You know, trying to make sense of it. And at the time, I remember asking, you know what happened? I don't quite understand. And there were still a lot of questions as a family that nobody had answers to. And what's crazy about it is it would actually take 90 days -- the full 90 days, that the toxicology reports an autopsy report came back from the coroner's office, to essentially investigate what had happened, the events that happened that night that led to their death, and ultimately what happened. And I remember my Auntie Linda, her and my Uncle Mike, were really the two that kind of took me under their wings. This was my mom's sister, Auntie Linda, I call her. I remember the day that the toxicology and autopsy reports were processed. And we were told to come over and pick them up and I was in the car with her. I refused to go in. I really didn't want to have anything to do with it. I really just kind of wanted to sort of turn a shoulder to it. I really wasn't interested in knowing what happened to them because in my mind as an 18-year-old child essentially just knew that they weren't here and they weren't coming back. And I think that as I started to process you know, I started to hear little conversations, and my uncle would try to open up conversations about what had happened. They started to after learning some events and things that happened that night, leading to their untimely death. Started to piece together some of the puzzle, right? But as an 18-year old, I just really didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't really want to understand it. Did I never forget her coming out of that coroner's office with that manila envelope and handing it to me and said, "Do you want to read it?" And I looked at her and said, "No," and I put it in the floorboard and never even thought about it for another moment.

Steve Martorano 

What had happened. And it's one of the deepest and darkest family secrets I've ever heard of was that both your parents within hours of each other overdosed on drugs.

Lauren Sisler 

Yes. First of all, it was 10 years before I even ever opened up that envelope. But if you kind of, you know, go back to that time, that timeline. And that secret that you talk about, you know, trying to process that and understand it was extremely difficult. For me as someone who grew up in what I believe to be a very loving home, a very supportive home. Again, I told you, my parents were so involved in everything that we did. And I just couldn't process the fact that my parents had died of drug overdoses. How is this possible? You know, I knew my parents were dealing with a lot of chronic pain. Both of my parents had been going to a pain management doctor in Virginia, in the Roanoke area, and both of them had been getting prescription medication to help them cope with their pain. It started out with oxy cotton. And you know, back then we're talking about, you know, 2000 - 2001 is sort of when they started really kind of ramping things up with their medications. And, you know, they were getting a 90-day supply of oxy cotton in the mail. That today is unheard of, because of the nature of the medication and now the understanding of how addictive it can be for both my parents who were receiving that medical attention, going to the pain management doctor getting those prescription drugs and then eventually, you know, that became hard to manage. And so my mom ended up being prescribed fentanyl, and fentanyl is a drug that is 50 times more potent than any other drug on the market. And administered in a time-release pain patch. And that helped her for a while to be able to manage the pain. And then eventually it got to the point where that wasn't working anymore. And the oxy cotton wasn't working anymore for my father. And so ultimately, what we later learned is that they had essentially been putting the fentanyl patches in the freezer, and had found a way to cut them open and take that medication orally, which essentially, it can be a lethal dose, depending on how much you take. And unfortunately, that is what happened to both my parents as they were trying to medicate not only their chronic pain but also what had eventually become their "dope sick."

Steve Martorano 

Yeah, a full-blown addiction. So people understand how this happens because it sounds extraordinary. But it's a pretty common story. You and your family, I presume we're aware that your parents had legitimate physical problems with pain that they were legitimately being prescribed medicine for. You might not have known the details of oxy cotton or fentanyl, but you knew they were taking prescribed medication, what you didn't know was that they had built a tolerance up to it needed greater doses, the and taking it to a point where they as you say, we're not only managing their pain but now managing their addiction. So it took you 10 years to get your head around. My parents were actively addicted to substances and they manage to keep that a secret from us. Now you were very young, and like most youngsters, you're in your own world. But what about the rest of the family? Your Auntie your uncle? Did they ever say to you after the fact you know, we wondered what was going on? Did anybody have any suspicions?

Lauren Sisler 

Well, hindsight is always 2020 and I know that sounds like a cliche term, but it is so true. You know, I think that as a young teenager, my brother was two and a half years older than me and he had actually gone into the Navy. So when he graduated high school two years ahead of me, he was off to Norfolk, Virginia, about four hours away from home to begin his military career. You know, there was an evolution there and there was a progression and you look back and again, hindsight is 2020 -- my father did struggle with alcoholism. I was aware of that as a child growing up, but I also didn't know what alcoholism was. I didn't understand it. I didn't really have a grasp on what it was I just knew, you know, sometimes he would drink on the weekends, and it would be a little bit too much. And my mom would be like, hey, you need to get back to your AA meetings, and that would be it. And then he would be fine for the next six months or a year, and I wouldn't even think twice about it. I get in that progression, a lot was going on that my aunt and uncle knew a little bit more about, but they didn't understand the severity or the magnitude of it. My uncle is an ER doc, and he worked in medicine. So he has a very strong understanding of addiction and the prescription drug industry and how things have evolved, even from then till now, as it pertains to his practice, and when he has to implement those things in the emergency room. But I don't think that they quite had a grasp on it, because my parents did such a good job of concealing. And so while I think there were indications that, you know, my mom was struggling to manage the oxy cotton, and at one point, she had brought some of her medication over to my aunt in a lockbox and said, Hey, I'm gonna have you keep this, so I can manage it better. That to me is sort of a red flag of Okay, well, you know, maybe she was concerned about her ability to manage the medication and maybe in her mind, she thought she might develop a problem. But to me, that was very innocent, right. And my mom was applying for disability. And I remember looking back not too long ago, just a few months ago, reading through some of the documentation where she was asked by her attorney to document her pain, document the medication she was taking, and to be able to present that to the court to apply for her disability so that she could receive some sort of payout for not being able to work during that time. And there was a level of innocence to it, where she was very much by the book today, I woke up, I took this, I mean, you know, pain level one through 10 as a seven, you know, this medication helped or didn't help. And it's almost like a journal. Yeah. And it was a peek into sort of maybe what she was thinking at the time. But no time during that did I see anything that indicated that there was a fear, or a deep concern that there was a problem.

Steve Martorano 

Or any or anything that looked like, even if you knew what substance abuse, the disease was all about Lauren Sisler is our guest. Lauren is a sports reporter. She works for ESPN and the SEC Network, along with our al- -alabama.com. She covers sports down there as well. This is a remarkable story, I want to pick up on just a couple of details. Not for pureeing interests, of course, but to make the point and this is the power of your story. If this could happen to the sizzler family, could happen to anybody.

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Steve Martorano 

Your parents certainly understood what was going on in their lives no matter how well they were keeping it from you guys, you know, whether they sought help during this descent into the disease of addiction, or whether they thought they could handle it the way they were handling it? 

Lauren Sisler 

I have actually asked that question to myself and to others and the family time and time again, wondering what was going through my parent's mind during this because my parents, again did such a good job, I think of protecting the secret. We knew they were in pain. We knew they were struggling, but my mom and dad woke up with a smile on their face almost every day. They were very active in the community. My dad had a full-time job at the Salem VA Medical Center as a biomedical engineer. My mom again was working part-time ended up on disability but was always at the gym was there working was there helping out was there, you know, always a part of my gymnastics career, my brother sports. And they were both just very active in the community. You know, we were a church-going family, we'd be at church on Sundays and then, you know, the start the week over on Monday and on Saturdays like I said, we'd be out at the racetrack or, you know, just doing family activities and so it never seemed like my parents really missed a beat. And that was the hard thing for me to comprehend. But underneath it, all this addiction had such a tight grip on them. I think the crazy part about it is there was an instance that we point to that was definitely a red flag, but was so sugar-coated for myself and my brother, that I went back to school, I had no idea. So my dad actually overdosed on Thanksgiving. When I came home from Rutgers, my first semester. We woke up that morning to find him lying on the living room floor, you know, we were able to get to him, my brother, with his experience in the military, knew how to do some things to help his breathing. And then we were able to get the paramedics there to help his breathing and to ultimately get him to the hospital in time to be able to save his life. We were told at the time, that was a bad reaction to the medication. A bad reaction to medication to me was, oh, he took his blood pressure medicine, and he took this pill or that pill, and they mixed together and it was bad. 

Steve Martorano 

Were people lying to you Lauren? Or were they shielding you? Or did that -- s that what they thought happened?

Lauren Sisler 

You know, my mom, that's what she told me. And you know, after having conversations with my aunt later in life, because again, keep in mind, I've built these walls up around me and my family to try to protect them because of that shameful word of "addiction," right. And I built these walls because I felt that if people knew how my parents died, so it first started out as denial, I could not accept the fact that they died of addiction and would not accept that whatsoever. And then when I did, there was still that level of shame so many years beyond that, to be able to overcome that shame.

Steve Martorano 

Well, let's talk about that for a second. Because look, this is a trauma that ranks right up there with great traumas as I've heard about a young girl a teen at school finds out both parents have died within hours of each other, and then has to deal with the reality that they had been caught in the grip of a strong addiction to opioid medication. So, Lauren, you mentioned in the stuff I've read about taking you 10 years to even read the autopsy results. But 10 years before those walls, you said you built around the family secret because of the shame and stigma. They finally come down. Why did they come down after 10 years?

Lauren Sisler 

Again, my auntie Linda and I had a great relationship, a close relationship. And I you know, she in a very loving way, tried to break those walls down and try to help me see it for what it was. Because she would hear me talking to other people and saying, well, this is how my mom died. You know, she died of respiratory failure. My dad died of a heart attack. No, my dad's heart stopped because he took the medication had respiratory failure. Yes. And then my mom died of respiratory failure. Yes. But that was the very sugar-coated version of it. I never could let anybody in on the secret that that respiratory failure was a direct result of overdosing on her medication. And so that shame lived with me for so long. And I think I just felt that their legacy was down in my hands. I felt that my parents, they wouldn't have wanted people to know about their dark secret. Why did they hide it for so long, I certainly couldn't be the one to come out and share it with the world. But there were so many people that questioned it and wanted to know like, what happened to Leslie and George Sisler or what happened to them? They were such loving people loving parents. We just want to know. I think that that's whereas I built up those walls, I wanted to know, and I truly wanted to face that because I had been living with the shame for so long, it was suffocating to me. And it was almost like as I became more mature and understanding what addiction was, and that addiction paints this picture of that homeless person living under the bridge, shooting up heroin. My parents were not that my parents, like many other people get trapped in this addiction. And the result ends up being the same living this nightmare. And for some people, they don't make it out alive. I dealt with that shame for so long that I finally said enough is enough. And I think that once I started to acknowledge what had happened to my parents, and then realizing that maybe if I share their story, I can make a difference in someone else's life and maybe give someone hope, or provide that awareness to say, hey, this could be happening right in front of you, and you not even know it. We all know that addiction does not discriminate. It does not matter where you grow up, where you're from, how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, the color of your skin, none of that matters. At the end of the day, addiction does not discriminate. It can have a very powerful and fatal hold on so many people. And as we're seeing that right now, in the midst of this pandemic, that number and that statistic continue to rise. And I think that's where we have to find this opportunity to use our voices and this platform and to break the stigma to get people talking about it and have a call to action so that people are getting the help that they need and ultimately preventing it from happening in the first place. 

Steve Martorano 

You know, your story isn't important. What tragic is it is it's an important one to tell. Because you are the starkest kind of reminder that, as you say, it's happening in the best of families, as they say, and it is a family disease. It's just mind-numbing difficulty in the trauma that you protected yourself against all those years is now given way to this, need to speak out and help others. Just in a couple of minutes that we have left. I know you do a lot of public speaking on this issue because you have this message to share. Have you been surprised at the number of people that came up to you afterward and said, "That's exactly my situation, we never knew, we were a great family..." you hear a lot of that?

Lauren Sisler 

Oh, my goodness, you wouldn't even believe it. I think the first thing that happened when people learned of their story, the people that were close to me, my brother, my parents, their colleagues, was almost a sense of relief. Because of that dark secret had been hidden for so long and people just wanted to know, they wanted to know the truth. And so I think there was some peace with knowing the truth. And then came the Wow, I had no idea, "Oh, you know, my brother, or my sister, or my mom or dad or uncle, grandparents, whomever, are battling the same issue." "I'm battling an issue" "I've, you know, come out of addiction. And now I'm in recovery." The amount of people that approached me to share their story or to share the story of their loved ones is just tremendous. And it's so amazing to me because people are afraid. And you see this sort of timid, meek person that approaches me that wants to share their story, and wants to be able to be okay with their story. And I think that's where I have found so much peace in all of this because I feel as I've shared my story, it's given people the courage and the strength to share their own story, and to lift the weight off their shoulders, and really to break what I call the "shackles of shame," and to realize that their story might be able to help someone else down the line and, you know, might be able to give someone a neutral, or renewed sense of hope, and a renewed sense of accomplishment, and really, to give them a different perspective on life, and one that I didn't have on life before. And now that I'm on this side of it, I feel so grateful and so blessed to be able to use it and what I believe to be a positive way to help others with their own struggles, whether it is addiction or mental health, or, you know, just depression, anxiety, you name it. We're all battling something. We all have a story. And I think it's so important that we use our stories as a powerful way to impact the lives of others.

Steve Martorano 

Yeah, Lauren Sisler, thank you so much for sharing that story, not only with us but with all the other people that need to hear this, you know, good for you. It's like a horrible event and turn it into something that as you point out really is a kind of testament to your parents unfortunate gripped by the disease. I know you're probably helping lots of other people. Thanks so much for hanging with us on the corner. Continued success and happiness in your life and career. And maybe you'll come back and hang with this again sometime soon.

Lauren Sisler 

Absolutely would love to thanks so much for having me on and to everyone out there listening -- thank you for your love and support -- and speak up, speak out, and ask for help when you need it.

Steve Martorano 

Lauren Sisler, thanks so much for joining us.

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