The Behavioral Corner 
Hi, and welcome. I'm Steve Martorano. And this is the Behavioral Corner; you're invited to hang with us, as we've discussed the ways we live today, the choices we make, the things we do, and how they affect our health and wellbeing. So you're on the corner, the Behavioral Corner, please hang around a while.

Steve Martorano 
Hello, everybody and welcome again to the Behavioral Corner. Your hosting guide that's me, Steve Martorano on the Corner. It's odd to think of a guide on the corner because you know, where can you go across the street and buy a newspaper sandwich at the store, which can't really go, which is okay with us because here on the behavioral corner, we are extraordinarily lucky. And that on any given day, some unbelievably interesting people having to just wander by the corner, and we hold over to sit on the stoop maybe. And we pick their brains because they usually have great brains and great stories to tell us. We are about the business of examining behavioral health, which is a very big, big topic. I tell you every week it is simply about the way our choices, our decisions, the way we live, affects our emotional and psychological, and spiritual lives. That's behavioral health. We have a particular emphasis, of course on substance abuse and mental health issues on the Corner. And it's all supported by our great partners, the underwriters Retreat Behavioral Health, we're particularly indebted to them because from time to time, we not only ask them to support us financially, but they provide us with great people they have over the years, just great, great people who really know their stuff. And we're really delighted to have a brand new face hanging with us on the Corner from Retreat Behavioral Health and she is and I welcome her to the corner, Hadassa Delhomme. Hello Hadassa, how are you? 

Hadassa Delhomme 
Hi, I'm doing good. How are you? 

Steve Martorano 
We're terrific. I'm going to be really honest with you and anybody listening. Hadassa falls into that category of people that we approach who go cool, you know, you have never been on the show. And they run screaming from the room. Is that true? 

Hadassa Delhomme 
Yep. 

Steve Martorano 
Okay, well, I understand that completely. And I already know you're going to be terrific at this. We thank you so much for leaping over that barrier of fear and coming in hang with us on the Corner. First of all, you are the Content Editor?

Hadassa Delhomme 
National Content Editor at Retreat.

Steve Martorano 
That covers a lot of space, because I mean, you guys pump out a lot of material. Just briefly, do you do it for the website, the for the newsletter, all that stuff?

Hadassa Delhomme 
So all written content that comes out of Retreat, whether it be print or digital, I see it, I go through it and make sure the grammar is correct. Make sure that we're making sense, making sure that it's understandable for everybody. And also within my role. I'm in charge of all social media. So Facebook, Instagram, anything that you see pumping out, it's usually me or our partner who does a few posts for us, but mostly me.

Steve Martorano 
If you're about making things make sense, you should work for me, actually. Anyway, so that's what the national editor for retreat does. And I'm telling you Retreat. In addition to being a world-class behavioral health organization, is just a fount of information. I mean, I've told people the story before, you're new in our situation here but when we struck this deal a very long time ago, with Peter Schorr and Ken Kosza and everyone at Retreat. They bought in instantly to the idea that this can't be an infomercial, about Retreat. Retreat, the only place to go. It's a great place. Its rep speaks for itself. But they said no, we're about information. We want to educate people on a wide range of issues. And so when we took note of the fact that you guys were going to do another panel, you do a lot of Facebook live streaming panels over a lot of topics. We said, well, who do we talk to you about that? They directed us to you, which is why you're here just before we get into the panel, which is going to be very interesting. So tell us a little about your background. Where are you from? Where did you grow up?

Hadassa Delhomme 
So I was born in Boynton Beach, Florida, but I grew up a majority of my life in Wellington, Florida. I also decided to stay here for school. So I went to college at Lynn University in Boca Raton, where I got my bachelor's and my master's degree. Undergrad was in Multimedia Journalism and my grad degree was in Media Studies and Communication. So that's a bit about me. I've been in Florida. I love Florida. I'm happy here.

Steve Martorano
I don't know about that. I know. Most of us up here in the northeast don't believe that there are native Floridians that you're all expatriates from somewhere else but here she is. Florida girl born and raised love it. I can't imagine living anywhere else.

Hadassa Delhomme 
I actually do want to move somewhere else. I've been here my entire life and I'm ready to see something different I'm ready to experience seasons cuz I've actually never seen snow so that's on my bucket list of things to do...

Steve Martorano 
Wait wait, wait, wait never seen actually have snowfall on you? 

Hadassa Delhomme 
I have never actually had snowfall on me ever in my entire life.

Steve Martorano 
That is amazing. I don't know how feel about that. Because on the one hand, obviously, where I'm coming from, that's odd. But on the other hand, they go, it's ridiculous to have snowfall on you. It's Anyone who lives in a place where snow unexpectedly and in huge amounts can fall on top of you is probably living in the wrong place. And that and you're talking to somebody who grew up with snow everywhere. So I don't know you're missing a lot. You have to go someplace visit snow and then go home. Anyway, that's what I feel that snow. So tell us about the panel, the title of which is the Price of Hate Crimes, which couldn't be a more timely topic. You're doing that in conjunction with other events. Tell us about the purpose of the panel.

Hadassa Delhomme 
July is Minority Mental Health Month. And I've actually, I'm actually the one who came up with the idea I came up with it a couple of months ago, we did a police panel, which did amazing and like a lot of people thought that the way we were talking about police mental health, and a lot of people kind of have a sensitivity to police in America. And although we want to highlight the mental health of police officers, we didn't want to be negligent to the fact that there is injustice within the system and the whole police system. And we got a lot of pushback. So we really wanted to make it a point to have the voices that were kind of not upset with the panel. But they did feel a certain type of way. We wanted to make sure that their voices were heard and naturally, and we wanted to take the time to discuss things that are happening in America and that hate crimes are becoming very prevalent. Like when you look at Stop Asian Hate that just is what's happening this year wanting to give a voice to those people who feel that overall the panel is about race in America. And because races are such a sensitive issue or topic in America, we want to give light to hate crimes. So on July 22, on our Facebook page, we're going to be hosting life as I stated, it's called the Price of Hate Crimes - a candid talk on minority mental health. We wanted to discuss hate crimes, and also just discussed minority mental health in general, because there's a lot of disparities among people of color and getting help because of where they live, how much money they make lots of different reasons. And we have a very diverse panel, we want to make it a point to have every voice we could possibly have heard. We do have someone on the panel who's experienced a hate crime and he'll be sharing his experience with us. I will also be serving on the panel. I didn't state this in my background, but I'm a first-generation Haitian American, my family immigrated here from Haiti to live a better life. And I do also deal with mental health struggles much like a lot of people anxiety is one of the highest mental illnesses going on right now. We have our clinical therapist, Ryan Butera from Retreat Behavioral Health, who is going to be our moderator. We have a clinical specialist, Ron Sexton, we have a therapist, Blanca Alvarez. And that's all of us as of right now. And you'll be able to see us on our Facebook Live, July 22, 7 to 8 pm. So tune in.

Steve Martorano  
Yeah, Eastern Time - 7 to 8. We wanted to alert you that there have been loads of really good panel discussions, you guys, you know that they're all over -- there all over Facebook. But retreat does a really, really good job, you're absolutely hit it right on the head about trying to talk about policing in America. And you guys, and I did a show as well, where I tried to focus on the mental health problems within the police departments important to know about them, because those factors, in many ways, contribute to what we see, in terms of bad policing. They're under certain kinds of stress, there's suffering from often substance abuse issues, if they're not showing you, and it comes out in the way they police, and in racial disparities and all that stuff. But it's a tough topic. You're right. If you talk to a policeman, even a conscientious, open-minded cop who does not apologize, meaning he's still behind that "blue wall" a little bit. So it's hard to get to the core of it. So I understand when you said that, you know, people reacted that and said, no, we need something broader in a broader discussion. And that's why the price of hate crimes is such a great idea. You know, and I don't expect you to answer this, because you're not the expert, but I would hope that you uncover some really fundamental issues about hate crimes because I've been confused about them over the years myself, I mean, you're gonna cover just what exactly is a hate crime, correct?

Hadassa Delhomme 
We are we're definitely going to cover that and just for the sake of this podcast, I personally define a hate crime as an act of violence that's racially motivated, religiously motivated or done towards any bias to hurt someone. So we're going to just definitely dive into that and talk about people's real experiences because it is something happening in America right now. And you know, just to be blunt, we were under an administration that made it normal to be more open about how you follow your bias towards people. And I feel like that's something that we can all unanimously agree on whether you support him or not. I feel like it became very normalized to spread hate and with that, we've just seen an increase in hate crimes happening in the US. And it's something that needs to be talked about. There are people dying, there are people that are really getting hurt. There's a video spreading around like, personally for me, throughout last year when the Black Lives Matter movement was going on and seeing George Floyd, like, I was just trying to scroll on social media on Twitter, and I see a man just dying in front of my eyes. Like that's a lot to look at. It's a lot to take in. It's a lot to process. So we want to take the time to have these real conversations about what's going on.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's apparently in certain quarters, unfortunate large quarters seems to be okay, to express any hostility you have, under any circumstances, whether anybody is watching or not. Now, we know what that is. And that's, I think they'll contribute somewhat to the notion of what a hate crime is, if someone is a jerk in a store, and starts yelling racial epithets some people go well, "That's abhorrent and it ought not to happen, but is that a hate crime?" So it's great that the panel will dive into this, and take a look at it. The other thing and you said it a little bit, now, a deep dive into the origins of these laws is going to be valuable. I know they've been around a lot longer than people imagine. I suppose you'd be taking a look at all the purpose of them and you know what the effect of them has been?

Hadassa Delhomme 
I'm not sure if we're going to get into the logistics of it all throughout the panel, I feel like we are more motivated to talk about the mental health impact. I feel like we may like to talk about it briefly. But we really want to get across the point that, you know, if you've experienced these things, and you have mental health concerns, you can get help. And we want to talk about the disparities in different communities. And there are resources for you to get help, it doesn't always have to be expensive, it doesn't always have to be something that's just so far out of reach. And also, we really want to go into the fact that there is such a stigma about mental health and a lot of different minority groups. You know, speaking for myself as a Haitian American, when I first started going to therapy, a lot of people in my family were concerned, they're like, you're not crazy, why are you going to therapy, like, you're not doing this, you're not doing that. So I don't understand why you have to go see someone bi-weekly. And because of issues like that, a lot of people, especially my age, don't go and get the help they sit with their emotions. And this is why we have higher suicide rates. So I feel like it's important to have these topics and help these people feel supported. So even if their family or anyone, their peers around them might not support them, they can still go and get.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, it's interesting. You're the most connected generation in the history of the planet, and the most isolated at the same time. 

Hadassa Delhomme 
Exactly.

Steve Martorano 
You're right, you guys retreat into your social media realm, which is not real life. 

Hadassa Delhomme 
Nope.

Steve Martorano 
And you can't work out real life in a virtual context. Can I ask you why you sought counseling?

Hadassa Delhomme 
I've been with a treat since March. But I'm a recent graduate, I wouldn't say recent anymore. But I graduated in August of 2020. It was a pandemic. And post-grad life was very tough, it was really hard to get a job, especially throughout the pandemic. You're looking for an office job and offices are open. So post-grad depression post got anxiety was something that really hit me hard. I was someone that lived in chaos throughout college. I got my undergrad degree in three years. And I got my graduate degree in one year. So I got two degrees. In the span of four years, I was used to chaos. And on top of that, I had different jobs and internships. So after that, that was the first time ever in my life that I experienced not having a job and not being in school, I just had a lot going on, I had to really take a look at myself. And realize where I was much like a lot of people who graduated in 2020 that didn't even get to have a graduation. So I was dealing with a lot of anxiety about my future. And it got to a point where I was experiencing shaking in the middle of the night. Like I would just wake up shaking, I was feeling nauseous all the time. And it was hard for me to keep focused, it was hard for me to like, keep it together, I was an emotional wreck. 

Steve Martorano 
Wow.

Hadassa Delhomme 
It got to a point where it was affecting my relationships. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a while and I was having a hard time just even having a conversation with him. And being around my family. I isolated myself in my room. And it took a lot for me to pull myself out of that. And one of the things that helped me pull myself out of that was finding a therapist, I decided that I needed to get help. It was not my first time seeing a therapist. But at that point, I knew that I needed help to figure out how to get to this next step of my life. So that's why I started seeing a therapist and I've been consistent since then. Although there were a lot of factors as far as like I figured out how to manage my anxiety with like exercise and cutting down on caffeine and like knowing what benefits my life and what doesn't. I feel like getting a therapist helped me do all of those things. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah.

Hadassa Delhomme 
I was not necessarily supported by my family. At first, it wasn't like a lack of support. But it wasn't like, "Oh, why do you need therapy? Like you don't need therapy, you're fine. Like, just go, pray, just go like, you don't need all those things." And...

Steve Martorano 
Well, that's a very common dad's family reaction in certain communities, in the wider thing in the wider culture, some of the stigmas has gone away. But I know, you know, traditional Italian American families, you didn't go to... go to who... talk to what? 

Hadassa Delhomme 
Exactly.

Steve Martorano 
And it certainly in minority communities, the access, not only is that attitude prevalent, where you know, black folks don't have problems, at least we don't talk about it, right? We got all the problems in the world, we want to talk about them, right? And that's a bad attitude. And then there's access, there's just you know, you just don't have the money. You don't have the time. So they get back to you because it is fascinating. You're a type-A personality, right? 

Hadassa Delhomme 
Yes. 

Steve Martorano 
You're used to going on all cylinders all the time. Bang, you are ready to start your life. pandemic says no and that wasn't in the playbook. What would you say to another young woman in a similar situation? Maybe the pandemic didn't cause it, but she's stuck somewhere and she's struggling with do I get help? Or can I just talk this out? What do you say to somebody like that?

Hadassa Delhomme 
Get as much help as you can possibly get? I believe as humans, we're not meant to live this life alone. We're not meant to isolate ourselves. We're not meant to go through things alone. And I feel like realizing that I was worthy and loving myself enough to know that I need help. And it wasn't something bad, it was something that was going to benefit me. That's where I took the next step. I took the next step. And I prioritized myself. That was like the general gist of it all. I prioritize myself, I prioritize my mental health. And months later, I'm at a job that I love. I'm here at Retreat. I'm here filming this podcast with you. And I'm able to sit here and talk about something that I'm so passionate about. Because I've been there. I have been at that point where mentally I just was like, I'm here I'm living. I wasn't suicidal at all. But it was very hard for me to find meaning in my life, it was very hard for me to get to a point where I could be appreciative of the life that I was living. So to anyone that might be listening. If you're at a rough spot, I believe that everything happens for a reason, everything happens in time, and you just have to stick it through, get as much help as you can jump out of your comfort zone. I ended up getting a job that I did not love. But that job was so good because it forced me to talk to people, it forced me to, like lessen my anxiety and do something with my day other than like staying in my room. So do things out of your comfort zone, get help and prioritize your mental health, your physical health, your wellness, your spiritual health, all the things that you can prioritize to help yourself, and it will help you in the long run.

Steve Martorano 
Everything else will take care of itself got to start with number one. Hadassa Delhomme is our guest, she is the National Content Editor for Retreat Behavioral Health. She is here with us to preview a little bit of panel discussion, it's going to be on Facebook Live on the 22nd. It's a couple of days away from when this podcast goes up. It's going to be about the price of hate crime. But it's also going to thinking your focus on the stuff we're talking about, which is minority mental health issues because that's what this month has been set aside for. First of all, we're in the golden age of anxiety, and depression, two things that are still not really understood about the disease-based model of these are disorders, they aren't, oh, she's in a bad mood, or she's hyperactive. So it's great that you, you know, had that insight, I got a problem. I need some professional help. How did you go about finding a therapist?

Hadassa Delhomme 
This is actually a question because I'm very open about the fact that I go to therapy, and I see a therapist, and it's a question that I get a lot from my friends who may be experiencing something similar, they're not sure what's going on, they're just really don't know how to access it. Personally, in my experience, I called my health care provider to make sure I had mental health care coverage, because sometimes it can be in your plan, and sometimes it cannot. After that, what they do is they find you therapists in your network. And they'll be very upfront with you about how much you're going to pay, whether it's $30 a session $20 a session, it really depends on what you're doing. Something else that I think that's important to note that most people don't know is that your health care provider will pay for a certain amount of appointments for you. For me personally, I had five to try out different therapists. My health care provider recommended me a therapist and I stuck with them for a while and I just want to do a note that does not go with whoever your healthcare provider provides you because I actually had to fire this woman because she was not the best fit for me. And I think that you should definitely take the time to research what you're looking for. As a black woman. I was looking for a black therapist. I felt like I wanted someone that could understand me and I did have a therapist when a couple of years back and she was a Haitian American therapist and I had a really great experience with her because she understood what was going on in my family because of the culture is pretty much the same. So I want overall people to know too, A, call your healthcare provider, B, find out how many appointments they'll pay for you, and, C, be very selective, it's okay to fire your therapist. It's okay to not like them. I know. It's tough because you know, you're having a person-to-person relationship, but definitely go for who you're comfortable with.

Steve Martorano 
Hey, let me ask you about that. That's because, for a lot of people, they can imagine therapy, they can imagine that we've all seen television episodes where people are in therapy, we know how the process works. But this notion of well, you know, it's not like going to a mechanic to fix your car, they fix the car, the car is not right, you know, the mechanics, not any good, right? You didn't know that during the process, you're not watching the mechanic do the job. So when you say you had to fire a therapist to found the one that fit, what was going on there that wasn't sinking up with you?

Hadassa Delhomme 
Oh, my goodness, we had a really big falling out, honestly, because I found that she kept showing up to our appointments late and it wasn't five minutes, it was like 30 minutes later. And also, he was just very open about her personal life with me more than I think a therapist should he was very conservative about telling me things here and there. But she was like telling me about her ex-boyfriends about like the money flow. She wouldn't name patients, but she would tell me about other patients. And I was just like, "Oh, my goodness. Like is this is not normal, this is not good." And I like ended up having a falling out with her because I switched insurance providers, and she was not patient with the process. And it's not like I missed a payment or anything at all because I didn't, but she was just very frustrated, cuz she ran the entire practice herself. So she didn't have a receptionist. So she was very flustered with the entire thing. And I just felt that she was very, she was negative like...

Steve Martorano 
So you found yourself...you found yourself with a therapist, you probably needed therapy. I wish I could remember the television episode or movie. But that's what the female is going through. It slowly begins to dawn on her that it's the therapist who's doing all the talking and gaining all the insights in her life. The star of the thing is sitting there going, what's going on here, I thought I was here to talk to you. You're talking to me. So listen, how does that work? It does. It's not one moment where you go, I gotta get out of here. It's a gradual process. You say you had a sort of a blow-up with her. But what was that, like? It wasn't an actual argument?

Hadassa Delhomme 
It wasn't an argument. It was through text, because there was a problem with my insurance provider. 

Steve Martorano 
Right. 

Hadassa Delhomme 
And she was having a problem connecting with them. So it had nothing to do with me. But she was trying to bait me to like yell at my health care provider about making sure that my services go through. And I was just like, I'm not comfortable with this. And at this point, I was at another job. Plenty enough, it was to my transition to retreat. So I was working. I was in the middle of my two weeks notice. And I was working days that aren't my usual days, and she knows my work schedule. So she was trying to call me during work to make me yell at the healthcare provider. And then and then I was telling her I was at work she's just like, you don't work Tuesdays so I don't understand like, why are you lying to me? I was just like, What? I'm sorry ma'am. I'm working.

Steve Martorano 
Sounds like you're in a dysfunctional relationship with your therapist.

Hadassa Delhomme 
I was in a very dysfunctional relationship. I was very disappointed because, you know, this is someone that I've been opening up about my life to for the past so and so months. So we basically had a conversation I said, I don't think this is a right fit. I don't feel like you respect me. I don't feel like you are someone who is actively helping me in my life. You're at this point, causing me more anxiety. I think that we should...

Steve Martorano 
I'm not here for anxiety. I'm here because I suffer from anxiety.

Hadassa Delhomme 
Exactly. 

Steve Martorano 
Got to make that clear. It was interesting to hear you say that you felt most comfortable and thought it would be most productive to have a woman of color, which makes perfect sense. Have you had these conversations with female friends who were also sort of stuck someplace, you take them through the ropes?

Hadassa Delhomme 
I just basically tell them that they are in control as much as possible. For example, this therapist told me that she needed to see me weekly in Florida, you can choose how many times you need to be seen. I went into the process pretty ignorant. I wasn't really doing all my research. I was just listening to whatever she was saying to me. So I was seeing her weekly and I didn't mean to see her weekly and I just tell all my friends overall, you are in power. You're the one getting the help. You're the customer you are the person that is there for help. So if you're not happy, don't stay. If you want someone that can relate to you look for a therapist of color, whether it be a black therapist. For my Hispanic friends, I say there are Hispanic therapists out there. There are black therapists out there. There are Indian therapists, there are Muslim therapists. That you can go and also throughout the one blessing from the pandemic. I know it's hard to say a blessing from the pandemic is that a lot of healthcare providers that didn't usually offer telehealth services, all offer telehealth now. So if you're not interested in someone who is around your area, you can do telehealth with someone in Idaho. So you can get the help that you want the way that you want it. 

Steve Martorano 
Help us is out there no doubt. Hadassa Delhomme thanks so much. The panel discussion which you'll be a member of takes place Thursday, this coming Thursday, the 22nd, at seven o'clock eastern time. It's going to take a look at minority health issues. But in the broadest context of the price of hate crimes and the impact on people in that regard. I'm so happy because not only have you made a great guest here on the corner, but we get to work together every now and then. So it's cool. So it's nice to meet you. As soon as you get to Florida, the alligator situation together in Florida. I tell you to know, the other folks from down there any place that lets gators walk around like they own the place? It's a strange place. Anyway, you get that straightened I'll come to visit. I know you're looking forward to that. Hadassah thanks so much and I will see you around. 

Hadassa Delhomme 
Thank you. 

Steve Martorano 
Thank you all for hanging on the Behavioral Corner. Don't forget to like us everywhere you can like us and follow us on Facebook. You can even write a review. We appreciate those as well.

Retreat Behavioral Health 
Every storm runs out of rain, according to the great Maya Angelou. Her words can remind us of one very simple truth that storms do cross our paths, but they don't last forever. So the question remains, how do we ride out this storm of COVID-19 and all the other storms life may throw our way? Where do we turn on issues such as mental health or substance abuse that begin to deeply affect our lives? Look to Retreat Behavioral Health, with a team of industry-leading experts. They work tirelessly to provide compassionate, holistic, and affordable treatment. Call to learn more today. 855-802-6600 or Retreat Behavioral Health where healing happens.

The Behavioral Corner 
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