Steve Martorano 
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The Behavioral Corner 
Hi, and welcome. I'm Steve Martorano, and this is the Behavioral Corner. You're invited to hang with us as we discuss how we live today, the choices we make, what we do, and how they affect our health and well-being. So you're on the corner, the Behavioral Corner. Please hang around for a while.

Steve Martorano 
Hi, everybody, welcome again to the Behavioral Corner, the podcast that is about everything because everything winds up affecting our behavioral health. It's all brought to us with the financial cooperation of our underwriters Retreat Behavioral Health, and we got some messages about them down the road. Today, we're going to take a look at something we've touched upon in the past many times in the past, something that while near to most of us is certainly not dear to us. And that is adversity, we all have our share of adversity. Today, we're going to be helped, seriously, in not so much merely facing adversity but embracing it. At least that's what our guest, Dr. Cindy Howard is here to explain to us. Dr. Cindy is off the bat, a board-certified chiropractic internist, as well, as a nutritionist, she is the author of a forthcoming memoir, entitled, Positively altered, finding happiness in the bottom of a chemo bag, and you should look for that. That'll be coming along. Dr. Cindy, thanks for joining us on the corner.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Oh, it's great to be here. Thanks for having me.

Steve Martorano 
Let's begin to see if my premise is correct. It's possible to not merely face adversity, but as you put it, embrace it, right?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Absolutely. We can't avoid it. It's going to come if it hasn't already. And I'm sure it has for probably everybody listening in one way or another. And I think the true gift is acknowledging the fact that it's going to show up and figuring out how to walk through it and get on the other side of it and find the gifts in it.

Steve Martorano 
I'm sure that you'll bring to bear your background, your medical background when answering some of these questions, but we should begin at the beginning. And I think that sort of the defining challenge you face with regard to adversity was a cancer diagnosis. Correct?

Dr. Cindy Howard  
Correct. So almost nine years ago, I woke up one day with two lovely bumps sticking out of my neck wondering what those could possibly be. And sometimes being a physician. That's awfully dangerous, right? Because we know a little too much, sometimes maybe sometimes not enough, but I was concerned and I didn't feel sick. And I was waiting for the illness to pop in to explain the lymph nodes that were protruding from my neck. Now, that never really happened. So you know, to abbreviate the story. I wound up sending myself for some blood work and some scans which eventually led to the diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. And it was that diagnosis that can be either very scary in a good way or very scary in a bad way. And I chose the good path.

Steve Martorano 
Did you choose that because of your medical background? Or did you choose that? Because that's your nature? What do you think?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
I think both I think the medical background was really important because I knew there were certain things that I could do. And I was very confident in that ability to overcome a diagnosis. We do that every day in the practice, we help people get on the other side of those things. So I'm grateful for that background. But I also think it really was attitude. There are a lot of physicians that walk down the rabbit hole in a very negative way, when it happens to us, it's very easy to be up for other people. But when it comes to yourself, sometimes that can be a bit more challenging. So taking the self-prescribed advice of you know, looking at things in a positive manner and trying to find the upside was really important for me to get through this.

Steve Martorano 
Let's talk about that. Because it's easier said than done. Some people by their very nature. See the glass is half full. Others of course half empty. If you find yourself on what I used I like to call them crepe hanger side, you know if you are by nature, a black drapes person and you're given a cancer diagnosis, your immediate attention is going to be drawn to the dark side, right?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Right. But we have to remember you can open the drapes. So any analogy you give, right, we can turn that around and we can leave them closed or we can open them up and I'm going to tell all of you sometimes the glass isn't even half full, it needs to be like 90% fall, right we need to get there in order to really lift ourselves out of something that can be very doom and gloom. Now that being said, you know, it's not all roses all the time, right? I do believe that we're allowed to have those sort of self-pity moments. Why me? How come and ask those questions? But I think if we relate those back to the dark drapes as you say they they need to stay closed for a very short period of time and then we need to open them for the rest.

Steve Martorano 
How important is it for you and for us in general? Want to first recognize what kind of person we are? Here's this thing that's occurred. Okay, you have cancer. As I said, your attention is grabbed. How important is it? I mean, you're mobilized immediately or ought to be, but how important is it to first go? Okay? What kind of person? Am I? How do I handle this? Did you go through that? You seem like an action-oriented person.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
I am, and maybe not so much for me because the adversity had hit me even before the diagnosis, I was going through a horrible divorce, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and we just lost, you know, our dog to pancreatic cancer. I mean, like, it was just, I was falling down the stairs, you know, two at a time. So I think with my own diagnosis, I was kind of ready to take it on. But at the same time, it is important to know who we are and how we operate, and how we succeed. Because nobody is going to be me. And I'm not going to be anybody else. Right?. And the recognition of what our skill set is, and what we bring is really important so that we can figure out how to address those things when they show up.

Steve Martorano 
You mentioned that cancer made absolutely outrageous number of visits to your life. Do you think that much adversity gets you better at dealing with it? Or is there a danger that it will just wear you down? I mean, it's like a muscle, isn't it? You know, the more you exercise it, the better you get at it?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Right? And I guess I would look at it that way. If if adversity keeps throwing itself at your front door, maybe there's a reason maybe, maybe that's to teach us that there's a better way to walk through and we keep getting those challenges over and over until we get it right. And I guess that's how I look at things right? Is it maybe I didn't learn the lesson the first time around? So I got another shot at it. You know, I'd love to share something with you. That very good friend of mine challenged me with something when I first came across the diagnosis, and I sat down and I had lunch with her. And I said I said you're Wendy, I have cancer. And she said, No, you don't. And I said no. Yes, I do. I mean, I have a piece of paper to prove it. You know, I have a diagnosis. I have the biopsy, I have cancer. And she said, No, you don't have cancer, she said, Stop owning it, stop using the word have, you know, you're owning that word. At that point. She said walk through it, she said, you're going to experience cancer. And it was a very profound way of looking at adversity, right? Again, we're all going to have it regardless of how significant we perceive it to be. But if we choose to walk through it, rather than have it, it was a very different perspective for me. And that's what really helped me was the words. I didn't want to give the words the power that sometimes we give them. I took the power away from the diagnosis and was able to walk through it.

Steve Martorano 
And by that you mean, I think, it's easier to embrace or walk through adversity? If you begin at a different place than crisis, or disease, and went to challenge and motivation, do you know what I mean? Is that what you mean? Because some people resist going, how do you walk through cancer?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Right, it's perspective, right? And I think it does come down to those words, right? So we've created an environment in today's society where there are certain words that have a very negative connotation. And I wish we could change that truly right and alter the energy that we give some of those words because there are lots of us take cancer, for example, that get on the other side of it and use it as a learning experience. And don't let it take over in a way that can be you know, ultimately detrimental or harmful. And I get it some people, look, there are some people that won't survive that activity, right, or that diagnosis, just like many other things in our life, but a lot of us really can't overcome that. So to take a scary word like that, and pull away its power, I think is a really great first step. And you know what, I got this, I can do this.

Steve Martorano 
We're fortunate in that cancer has moved from, you know, almost an automatic death sentence to something more widely treatable, and survivable. Let me ask you about something like the language because I agree with you about what may look like oh, and I hate this wokeness run amok and all that stuff. Words have power. Words have power. If you call someone who is on has a serious substance abuse problem, "a junkie," you are reducing them immediately, whether you're aware of it or not. So words have power. Let me ask you about cancer survivors. How do you feel about that? Praise? I mean, you obviously have survived cancer, you identify as a cancer survivor?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Well, I don't I don't list as a pronoun. So you know, I haven't quite gotten to that level yet. I think we survive life. I mean, every day, we've survived something. You know, is my story any more important because there was a big scary word attached to it than somebody else's? I don't think so. So, I don't know. I don't know that we need to elevate ourselves in that capacity either. I'm very proud of the journey I walk through and very proud of my choices. I'm excited to share that with people you know, to hopefully inspire and encourage people to look at things maybe a little bit differently than they have before. But now I don't typically walk around Oh, you know, I'm a Hodgkin's Lymphoma survivor. I mean, I guess if the opportunity He comes up that word because it's sort of mainstay but no wouldn't walk around touting that.

Steve Martorano 
And before we move on to some other areas of embracing adversity, you are 10 years into the process. And now for all practical purposes, you're cured, right?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Correct. So Hodgkin's Lymphoma is deemed curable if that five-year mark, which I've surpassed, which is great, you know, that's the other thing I think is I wish -- I have to stop using the word wish to that's sort of an empty promise, right? I would love to change that aspect to have the timeframe that we put on some of these things. Really, it's not up to anybody. There's nothing to say that I won't face another health challenge that may come on top of this one. There's nothing to say that just because somebody told me it was five years, that's really true. I mean, bloodwork looks good. I feel amazing. You know, there are no signs, but we put these labels on things that I think are also very detrimental from a mental aspect, right? Because we use them as a place of either success or not success. Yeah, that was more than how we feel every day.

Steve Martorano 
Sure. I mean, beyond the obvious, great news that you're healthy. The other benefit seems to me would be to go, Well, that doesn't mean the end of adversity, it just means I dealt with that one. And when the next one comes along, I'll deal with that one.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
I'm much better trained at this point.

Steve Martorano 
I'm sure that you can be confident that the next thing comes along, you'll at least not get blindsided by it. Right? Okay, here comes Dr. Cindy Howard is our guest. She's about to publish a book. In fact, I guess the Kindle version is available already on Amazon.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Well, you can pre-order an e-version. the book will drop on September 12,

Steve Martorano 
Positively Altered: Finding Happiness at the Bottom of a Chemo Bag. It's 34 life stories that Dr. Cindy has put together to demonstrate, you know, surviving life, it's an interesting way to put it surviving life, this thing is laced with humor. And you because you think that's critical. Tell us why.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
I do. You know, I learned a long time ago to laugh out loud and to laugh at myself. And I find that laughter is part of the health journey. It's a great way to look at things without being too serious. And it keeps me in the right perspective versus, you know, victim mode. It keeps me in sort of that comedian mode. And I think it's a really healthy place to sit at least for me.

Steve Martorano 
We say humor, and we're, I think you mean in a broader sense that I can tell a joke. But it's an attitude about adversity. That allows you to see the and this is the word I keep coming back to the kind of ludicrous nature of it, you know, how to first of all cancers, ludicrous. Right? It's insane, that your body should begin turning on you. Right? It's like crazy. So if you can't sort of understand how ridiculous that is, it's really going to be much more difficult to find it.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Maybe it was just a bad joke. I don't know.

Steve Martorano 
You know, you know, this, the whole thing's a joke. I mean, the idea that we all know how it ends, no matter what shape or if we all know, the end of the story is kind of ridiculous.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Well, it is. But I think you know, that's the fun part. And I get a lot of pushback when I say I made cancer fun. People look at me like I've lost my mind. But I think that's, that's my path is whether today is my last day, or I've got 50 more years left. It's to enjoy that journey on the way there.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, right. I mean, it does sound you know, sort of flip it and dismissive, but it's not. It's a deeply I think it's a deeply important thing that you, you bring up here about humor and the right attitude. I know your cognitive behavior theory is boiled down to its essence to change the way you think. And you will change the way you behave. When you give people advice. Do you live by that notion?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
I do. I'm very big on what we call "I am" statements. And I do this in my personal life and in my practice, and it is to become what we believe, right? I am beautiful. I am smart, I am sexy, I am intelligent, I am healthy I am, whatever it is I am and some days, I might not really be those things. But it's what we tend to believe. And that ownership of the "I ams" is what helped create the change in our attitude.

Steve Martorano 
One of the natures of the 34 stories is each story about an adverse situation that you overcame. What are a couple of examples of the stories?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Yeah, not necessarily. So they came from a journal I kept as I was walking through Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and some of it was about treatment. And some of it's about health and some of it is just as you say ridiculousness on certain topics. So one story I talked about my two Martini accident, which happens to be my oldest daughter, yeah. When she found out she was in an accident, you know, the boys gave her two boys two, they gave her a pretty hard time but she was in a great accident. And you know, the story goes where I was about dancing on the bar, holding my third martini, and my husband at the time, he's not my ex-husband, but my husband at the time said, Come on, we're going home, which was probably a really smart move. But you know, of course, led to the pregnancy of my oldest child who is just a gift. You know, and the story of how that goes, and again, how sometimes things don't always happen the way you predict them, but yet they can turn into these wonderful, beautiful things. You know, in the end, even if it wasn't planned. There are all kinds of stories like that, that don't necessarily have to do with my walk through cancer.

Steve Martorano 
Right. That's what I wanted to bring up. Because you also bring to this your work as an internist, chiropractor internist, and nutritionist and I want to spend a couple of minutes talking about that work. Do you believe that we are what we eat?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
I do. I always joked that 80% of my patient population would go away if we ate really well. The problem is, we're no longer eating food, right? We're eating adulterated products that can live in your pantry for, you know, a couple of years with a long expiration date. And we started to feed ourselves chemicals and additives and food that was really altered in some way, shape, or form, the body has to learn how to handle that. And over time, you know, it's an assault. So you know, if, at the age of two, you assaulted yourself enough, the body's really strong enough to combat that. But when we start entering our 30s, 40s, you know, 80s, 90s, depending on who you are, you know, eventually the body gives up and things start to change, and we lose the battle. So we've got to take care of that environment. And food is the number one place to start.

Steve Martorano 
That's a great, great point to bring up at this point about the body changing over the years, and recognizing that it's a long way around talking about aging. And we do it that aging is if adversity is a real thing. There's a short, con, a short adversity, the length of time it takes you to overcome a specific thing. And then there's the long con. And the long adversity con is we're all getting older, we are embracing the idea of aging and recognizing our body. You talk about eating well, what are some other daily things we can do? Not to fight off old age, but to manage it?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Right? We can't fight it, we're going to do it. I haven't figured out yet how to stop that process, I think collagens...

Steve Martorano 
There's a way to stop...there's a way of stopping aging, and most of those people are dead, but...

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Okay, fair point. Fair point. Well, I think there are a lot of things we can do. Right. But I do think one of it is it starts with our mental activity. And that is where people say, Oh, well, you know, I'm getting older. So I just have to accept it, I actually think that's the number one mistake, I do think we change as we get older. That doesn't mean we have to accept the changes, we can do something to facilitate, right? An ulterior path. And then there's the standard, you know, answers you hear all over the place, you've got to get adequate sleep. And you have to do some really good intentional breathing. And I think you should drink water, and not monster drinks, and coffee, and all of those other beverages that we truly don't need, right? And it's relationships, it's really nourishing that time during the day to have valuable relationships. And it's some of those basic things that if we walk through every single day, at the end of the day, we go, wow, I really made some great choices. I had a lot of fun doing it, I feel great, you know, with those aspects of our day. And I think that can combat that sort of feeling of wow, we're just really getting older and deteriorating.

Steve Martorano 
We keep circling back to the notion that, our attitude and the way we think, are as critically important as what we eat, the doctor's advice that we listen to, and the exercises that we perform. And that's all true. But all that process begins in making the decision to do all that stuff, right?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Just a decision right to wake up your day and start over. You know, I have a practice that I follow, which I actually really love. And it served me very well. And that is at night when I lay down and I go to sleep I kind of just give a cursory review of my day, and sometimes that's 10 seconds. And sometimes it's you know, a long time and I think, how did I do? And what I love about that exercise is at the end of the day, if I'm really happy with my choices, close my eyes, I go to sleep, I get a good night's sleep. And if I think back and I go wow, I really made the wrong decision here. I said something I shouldn't have said to somebody there. The beauty of that is I wake up the next day and I've you know get to do it all over again. And maybe there's an apology to give or a different choice to make. And it's like a restart every day we get to do over and that's a beautiful thing to change, even if we don't get it perfect.

Steve Martorano 
And this last point about aging and accepting that and managing it because it can be adversarial it is the phenomenon that I believe to be widespread in people of a certain age, no matter how they actually feel. Oh, like I'm achy in the morning or oh I can't play tennis. anymore. Most of us still go. I don't feel this. I mean, I, in my head, don't feel this old. It's an amazing phenomenon. It shows how strong the mind is right?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
It is. And then I think we have to turn around and just build a team to help us with those things that we feel are getting in our way. Because there's always something that can be done, you just never stop looking.

Steve Martorano 
Dr. Cindy Howard, let me if I finally asked you this, because how could we not talk about the pandemic in terms of adversity? For years, and we're still at the lingering stages of the effects of the pandemic, if you're comfortable giving us...us and I mean, the people in your experience, and what you've observed a grade, for, at the end of the day, how well you think, as a society, we handle this incredible adversity?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
Wow. You set me up here for a little bit of a challenge because, you know, my first thought is an F because I think there are definitely things that we could have done a whole lot better. But I do think that there are a lot of us within that society that actually got an A and I think that, you know, we worked on relationships, and we challenged ourselves to maybe work a little harder on ourselves. And we looked at the things that maybe we could do better. So excuse me, I think there were there were two grades to be given, depending on who you are, I hate to lump all of society into that failure category. What I love, though, about the failure categories, I think it's a great opportunity to figure out what we needed to learn from it because history repeats itself. And you know what, we're gonna do it again, somewhere, somehow, some way and hopefully those of us that realize we failed in certain aspects, will look at that as an opportunity to do it differently.

Steve Martorano 
Well, if you'd like more sort of ammunition to prepare yourself for the next thing, whatever it is, you could do no worse than Dr. Cindy Howard. We thank her for her time. Her book coming out is called Positively Altered: Finding Happiness at the Bottom of a Chemo Bag. Cindy has some great YouTube videos. Just Google her name, Dr. Cindy Howard. You'll see her talk about more about nutrition and stuff like that. And what's the website?

Dr. Cindy Howard 
DrCindySpeaks.com Dr-C-I-N-D-Y-Howard H-O-W-A-R-D Speaks at... Oh, I'm sorry. No, Howard. I was giving you a combo of two websites. Let's do they get DrCindySpeaks.com. Okay. See what happens when you start talking about adversity. You get the website wrong. But yeah, check it out. You can follow me and subscribe to the newsletter. See what's going on in my world.

Steve Martorano 
Thanks again, Cindy. We appreciate your time and hope to have you back on the Corner real soon.

Dr. Cindy Howard 
We'd love that. Thank you.

Steve Martorano 
Thank you. Take care y'all as well. Don't forget you know how to do it like us, follow us. Chase us review us. Just don't ignore us the Behavioral Corner we'll catch you next time.

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