The Behavioral Corner 
Hi, and welcome. I'm Steve Martorano. And this is the Behavioral Corner, you're invited to hang with us as we discuss the ways we live today. The choices we make, the things we do, and how they affect our health and well-being. So you're on the corner, the behavioral corner, please hang around a while. 

Steve Martorano 
Hey everybody. How are you doing? Steve Martorano around with you on the Behavioral Corner. But we do here -- which is a great gig, I must say. I get to hang out on, an interesting corner, a little bodega across the street, a newsstand down there, and loads of interesting people who cross our path here to talk and enlighten us on the big issue of our behavioral health. You know what that is behavior loves everything we do, you know, impacts our, our well-being our mental health or spiritual, even our physical health. So it's a broad topic. And we like to say that the Behavioral Corner is a podcast about everything. And it sure is. It is that date, there's a day designated for everything and every month, the very year and gay pride, LGBTQ issues, certainly not alone. They've got a long-standing relationship with the month of June, which is Pride Month. So we've invited somebody in to give us some perspective on that. Tyrone Best is a young fellow who comes to our attention through our underwriters and partners Retreat Behavioral Health, the Ty has worked his way up through a couple of rungs there to the communications department, we work very closely with Ty's department. And he's going to join us with a unique perspective on both the necessity and the meaning of pride month as a young gay man. But also he brings with us a story of his substance abuse, struggle, and journey, and how he's now achieved five years of sobriety. So this is a good one all the way around. Tyrone, thanks for joining us on the corner. How are you? 

Tyrone Best 
Thank you. Good. How are you? 

Steve Martorano 
I surprised you a little bit with the video component, didn't I?

Tyrone Best 
Yeah. I wasn't ready. 

Steve Martorano 
A handsome young guy like you gotta get spruced up. Anyway, thanks so many four years now at Retreat? 

Tyrone Best 
Yeah, I'll be going on four years in December. 

Steve Martorano 
And as I said, you work your way up. And now you're in the communications department. 

Tyrone Best 
Right.

Steve Martorano 
So I characterized you as a young gay man. So there you are. It's obvious that Ty, like most of us, is made up of many parts. I mean, he likes the outdoors. He likes traveling and kayaking and hiking, and he's into meditation. So we mentioned his orientation because that's our topic. TY, let's begin at the beginning. People well-attended people, and some people were not so well intended to look at the LGBTQ. Every time they look at it, there seems to be another letter added. And nobody wants to exclude anybody or appear, though they don't care. Is there a thumbnail that the rest of us can go, "Okay, what's what's the right thing to say here?" When talking about that entire universe?

Tyrone Best 
I would say like for --- what I learned the right thing to say is --- we like to say LGBTQ plus community. The plus is always more. There always can be --- there's a lot of different orientations and different things that come in with the LGBT community. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah.

Tyrone Best 
We're all learning this process together. We're all growing, and we're seeing the world grow. So I think if we're all like, bear with it, eventually come together. But we have a good standing just say, like, LGBTQ Plus is like, a great thing to say.

Steve Martorano 
My wife's theory is that the goal eventually we'll be to drop all of this and not pay any attention.

Tyrone Best 
Yeah, we have to, like, clarify who and identify who people are. Eventually, we'll just be people and be that.

Steve Martorano 
And then move past this specific definition. And just go, okay, who's this person in front of me? Yeah. How are they behaving? Do I like him? And do they like me? 

Tyrone Best 
Exactly. Yeah, 

Steve Martorano 
That's exactly. Okay. All right. But you know, we got to, we got to do it right here. We got to double nomenclature. Right? How old are you first of all? I didn't ask that earlier. 

Tyrone Best 
I'm 26 years old. 

Steve Martorano 
Now you were on your way to I guess, a degree in a career in architecture. When you had trouble with substance abuse. Tell us about that.

Tyrone Best 
I was always interested in designing and drawing my whole life. But growing up, I was so --- the stigma of being a masculine male. I knew that. The art I wanted to do couldn't be like fashion and stuff like that, because I was trying to stay away from the "gay stuff" a part of me I was trying to like hide that. So I went more into architecture because I was into designing and homes and stuff like that. But that also was more masculine to me. So that was what a lot of my family members and friends knew I wanted to do. So I kind of went with that flow after high school. Did that for two years at HACC, it was gonna transfer over. But during those two years after high school, I was really conflicting with my sexuality, and becoming an adult and be able to identify as a gay man, was difficult for me. Also, I didn't have, that close-knit of friends as much as I did during those years of high school and middle school and growing up. I felt alone. So I know, I was on an adventure to do like, every drug possible. I was like, let me try everything. Let me live life. And during those difficult times, I happen to get into heroin. And that got me and it took a hold of me. So like, I started using that to hide a lot of my stuff.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, how long were you actively using heroin?

Tyrone Best 
I started it at the end of age 18 to the age of 21.

Steve Martorano 
And it gets serious enough for you to get yourself some help. Right? How many times were you in treatment?

Tyrone Best 
I only went in once. 

Steve Martorano 
Ah, good for you. What was the motivation? Was it legal problems? Or did you finally get...

Tyrone Best 
Eventually, I wasn't getting high with friends. I was getting high by myself and my room, dozing out. No one kind of knew that I was on I kind of hid it from everybody, my family, friends. A friend of mine realized that it was really bad started to tell my parents, and my mom kind of knew something was going on, a couple of months prior to me going to rehab. And I had come out to her and I told her I was like bi, like, I mean like, I like girls and guys, which wasn't true. But that's like the first thing you say. 

Steve Martorano 
Right? Yeah. Yeah. 

Tyrone Best 
Um, then a couple of months later, I finally was like crying and was really like, do like, it was like the end of it --- I had nothing left. I was selling all my stuff. I was stealing stuff. I was doing all types of things for money. And I was just done. So like, shortly after the semester ended, I came to my mom told her, and was like, I need help. My father drove me to rehab. And when he was driving me, that's when I came out to my father. So he found out like, oh, his son does heroin and now his son is gay. But they took it very well because they knew what it was doing to me.

Steve Martorano 
You had, you know, parents in your life. Do you have siblings? 

Tyrone Best 
Yes, I have two older sisters.

Steve Martorano 
No drug problems there?

Tyrone Best 
No, on the drug history, and my family's my mom.

Steve Martorano 
Ah, so there was some history. So she sort of opened the idea. Well, you know what, as I said, in the beginning, you do bring together a couple of elements of things we talk about, set against the backdrop of your sexual orientation, it's immediately apparent to me that there's so much about, you know, being different. Being gay or lesbian, that we don't appreciate. We just sort of look at the surface stuff. You said that as a youngster, you felt artistic. You'd like to draw, lots of kids like to draw, but because of the confusion, if I understood you correctly...

Tyrone Best 
Yeah.

Steve Martorano 
...about how you felt your emerging sexuality. You immediately shied away from drawing pretty things. 

Tyrone Best 
Mm-hmm. 

Steve Martorano 
And focus your attention on a manly pursuit. Men build buildings, right? I think that's what a lot of the straight world doesn't understand about the burden of being a closeted gay person, is that it's not just you're hiding sexuality, you're hiding everything.

Tyrone Best 
Mm-hmm.

Steve Martorano 
Everything. It was your career path set, totally in a false way. And didn't work right? 

Tyrone Best 
No.

Steve Martorano 
Didn't work. So you were what? 20? 21? when you came after your parents? 

Tyrone Best 
Mm-hmm.

Steve Martorano 
Tell us about that because that's a terrifying moment, isn't it? 

Tyrone Best 
Yeah. 

Steve Martorano 
How did your dad react? Your mom sounds like she just rolled with it. How dad...

Tyrone Best 
My dad reacted very well, actually.

Steve Martorano 
Were you surprised?

Tyrone Best 
I was completely surprised. Like, my dad is great. Now, he supports me in everything I do now. And he's a wonderful guy. But back then growing up, he was not acceptable for any kind of like -- um -- he always wanted me to do like, boy things and...I remember as a child and telling me he would like, beat my butt. Like if I would turn out gay, you know? So like...

Steve Martorano 
Why wait, wait, before you, wait but wait, what was he worried about? Had you exhibited in hindsight signs that he might have thought my son may be gay?

Tyrone Best 
I feel like growing up, my whole family kind of always know, you kind of know. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah.

Tyrone Best 
It's like that age one to four. When you don't, you're just yourself and you don't develop any characteristics yet from anybody, you don't learn anything, yet. Your 1 to 4 years yourself. So during that time, my mom even said, like I was playing with my sister's dolls. I would do certain things that would be more feminine or stigma as more of the gay side. So like, yeah, and the students that we had growing up was, oh, I have two older sisters, I got with females, I'm more into clothing because that's the type of person I am like, stuff like that. 

Steve Martorano 
So dad's antenna was up. His radar was on and any sign he saw of not masculinity, he made an issue. I gotta give you this much. And I know it's a strange thing to say. But a difficult decision where you have to come out to your father, "your father..." 

Tyrone Best 
Yeah.

Steve Martorano 
...particularly, the kind of dad you had. There are all kinds of times when you can do that, I suppose as he's driving you to rehab because you have a heroin habit may be the best time? 

Tyrone Best 
Yeah, right.

Steve Martorano 
He's like...

Tyrone Best 
It's a two-in-one. It's a twofer. I get him two in one and drop me off and I'll see you in 30 days.

Steve Martorano 
You know what, you started you doing drugs because of the confusion and everything. And you find yourself in that spot because of you know, the pressures of being closeted. And then at this moment, it sort of comes in handy, because your father is smart enough to go. "Okay, let's prioritize here." Now. Let's go. What was this about being gay? laughing You know, it's not funny. But...

Tyrone Best 
I laugh about this story all the time. I'm like...

Steve Martorano 
It's almost a brilliant plan. I mean, he can't get too freaked out here, right? Let's get serious here. Now, a lot of people in your situation, don't go to rehab and just get clean. Why do you suppose you took to treatment? Apparently, so quickly.

Tyrone Best 
I knew what treatment was from growing up. But like I kind of didn't put it together as I got older. And I started realizing the people I was around, and the friends that are around started going to rehab, getting help, and getting clean. And I thought I would everyone thinks they're invincible, and they're not that person. I thought I wasn't that person. I thought I wouldn't have to do that, that I can just stop on my own and go back to my life. Apparently, that didn't work out. Um, something was in me that I knew that I was more to this life. Like my life was in just this. I knew that I was slowly coming out to my friends, so like, my friends knew I was gay. But my family didn't. So they were like the last step of the people that I needed to tell. And once I told them, I knew I was a little bit free. And that can be free from also like taking in drugs.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah. We know from examples that have nothing to do with an orientation that most substance abusers are self-medicating and hiding something else, sort of a symptom of what's really going on. Clearly in your case, once you get okay, telling people who you really are. I guess the thought occurs to you. Well, that's great. And by the way, what am I doing, being a heroin addict? I mean, let's get that straight. What was withdrawal? Like for us the detox process, like? Were you I was shooting it 

Tyrone Best 
I was shooting it. Towards the last four to five months of my run. I was shooting. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah.

Tyrone Best 
I was having nightmares. I started to go home. Like every day. I called my parents like a child every day. My dad kind of scooped me up. He was like, "Yeah, just give it a week. Give it a week." And like a week later, I called him was like, "Alright, I'm ready to go." And he's like, "No, definitely no. Yeah, it was difficult because I had tried to start many times on my own because I didn't want people to know. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah.

Tyrone Best 
I would try to go a day or two. And I would just be like really sick. And my mom would just see me like really sick. And she would just think that I'm just tired and sick or something. And I would just run out of the house because I needed to get like that fix real quick. And there were tons I went to, like, I had to go to like family, birthday parties, and I needed to be high to be normal because if I wasn't, they knew I was not myself. And I always had been a person that wanted to dress nice, look good. So during those, like years of my times, I was not myself. So it was very noticeable.

Steve Martorano 
You must look back at this time to think Who was that? What was that? I'm talking to Tyrone best. He comes to us through the communications department, from our partners Retreat Behavioral Health. It's clear that you chose this path to get involved in treating people who have been where you have been in substance abuse by the Ty, five years sober is a big deal, as you know, congratulations, so good for you. When did you decide to stay in this field?

Tyrone Best 
The story of how I started working here was weird. So like my friend that I grew up with, we were working at Aruba's together. I left Aruba's during like that same week timeframe. It was Thanksgiving. And I went to my friend's Thanksgiving dinner. And her brother's girlfriend at the time was at the dinner and worked at Retreat. Their family was talking about how I have been like clean for about a year and a half. And they were like talking about different stuff like I want to do. And she mentioned Retreat, and I was like, "Wow, I can see myself working there," you know. So I applied and I ended up getting a job as a CA. And I started liking it because I started communicating with people and talking to people about other things and life experiences and helping other people. And it was making me feel so much better about my life because I was helping others. 

Steve Martorano 
I know part of your duties with Retreat was in the area of diversity, you still doing that for them? 

Tyrone Best 
Yes. 

Steve Martorano 
And tell us about your friend Sean and your foundation that was created by you and your friends.

Tyrone Best 
So we started Sean’s Legacy in 2019. It was based on one of our friends who in a middle school committed suicide. In seventh grade. We were young. So we kind of didn't know how to take that. But we were hurt. And it affected a lot of us. So years later, as we got older, we created a foundation, a nonprofit organization, that celebrates or helps LGBTQ suicide prevention for the youth. So we have dedicated that for him. And the funny thing is the day that he passed away was May 19. And we always used to celebrate May 19 for years, and years later on the universe might clean date ended up being May 19. So and it worked out. And I look up every day and I'm like, "wow." Like...

Steve Martorano 
Yeah. 

Tyrone Best 
...weird how that worked out. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah. Well, you know, that's a great way to make the point I wanted to ask you about Pride Month. Origins of this very quickly as the Gay Pride really began as recognition as I understand this, of the beginning of the gay rights movement, the Stonewall Riots in New York, and it was really originally a protest against police violence against gays. And in the many, many years since then, it has grown into what we now call Pride Month, which is a celebration of diversity. That's the answer to the question. Well, why do you need to celebrate your orientation? You know, when they see the gay pride parades around the country, and you know, guys show up? Girls show up. Flamboyance in your face. People get a little like there's no heterosexual pride day, right? 

Tyrone Best 
Yeah. 

Steve Martorano 
Right? Sean answers the question of why this day is important, right?

Tyrone Best 
Yeah. Because our whole lives we were taught gays or people by the LGBTQ community are not tough enough. If the whole world is telling you that it makes you tough enough to deal with everything that's going on in the world. I believe that Sean made a legacy on us to prove to this world that we need to make a difference of what's going on and what's happening in this world. Because that moment that happened, they're affected our whole school. (It) affected our whole township and all the schools around us.

Steve Martorano 
Let me ask you about and I know you're not, you're a clinical aid, but you know, it's not strictly speaking your area, but it's worth bringing up I guess. With regard to the mental health and substance abuse treatment available to the LGBTQ community. Does it have to be tailored in any specific way? Because you're dealing with people who are gay or lesbian?

Tyrone Best 
I don't think it has to be tailored in any way. I just think people need to listen and have an understanding. If you know how to listen and have an understanding, then nothing needs to be tailored. 

Steve Martorano 
Well, listen you're at the Lancaster facility here in the Pennsylvania area. Correct? I used to be there a lot before COVID to be out of my little studio. But it's been a pleasure meeting you and Retreat has a real knack for hiring good people. And they look like they've done it again. We will cross paths soon. Tyrone Best. Our guest here on the Behavioral Corner. Ty, take care.

Tyrone Best 
Thanks.

Retreat Behavioral Health 
At Retreat Behavioral Health, we believe in the power of connection and quality care. We offer comprehensive holistic and compassionate treatment from industry-leading experts. Call 855-802-6600 and begin your journey today.

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