The Behavioral Corner 
Hi, and welcome. I'm Steve Martorano. And this is the Behavioral Corner; you're invited to hang with us, as we've discussed the ways we live today, the choices we make, the things we do, and how they affect our health and wellbeing. So you're on the corner, the Behavioral Corner, please hang around a while.

Steve Martorano 
Hey, everybody, how are you doing? Steve Martorano, again, Hanging, where else, but on the Behavioral Corner? We're here and we're lucky because we're at the crossroads of everything. I'm telling you, folks stop by all the time with the wonderful information -- we think it's wonderful -- and great stories to tell us about a range of topics. When you talk about behavioral health, you're talking about everything. That's what I tell folks, they say what's the podcast about? I say, "Well, it's about everything -- from substance abuse and recovery and treatment to mental health issues as well." We've been doing it for a while now, we hope you're finding us. Because we're having fun. And we think we're doing some good here, at least we hope we are so underwritten by our great partners Retreat Behavioral Health. Periodically, throughout the course of the program, we have reached out to people who have been through some dark moments in their lives around the issue of substance abuse. They have successfully made it through that. And now their lives have turned around, remarkably. I like to say all the time that stories of substance abuse and recovery are all the same, except they're different. And that's the case, every single time. People make unbelievable returns to fuller and happier lives. Millions do. That's the sort of thing we don't talk much about for some strange reason. And that is as big as the problem is, and as many people who need help, there are millions more...millions more who are living in a long-term, successful recovery. So it's possible. It's very, very possible. So when we reach out to these folks, we think their stories are worth hearing, just because well if he did it, or she did it, maybe I can do it. And that's why we call it "Voices in recovery." We welcome Gordy Hiltz to the program today. He is a member of the alumni group at Retreat Behavioral Health will tell you about that a little bit later. But he was brought to our attention through that group. And he has a story he's going to share with us about his struggles with alcohol. Gordy. Thanks for joining us on the corner.

Gordy Hiltz 
Thank you so much for having me. 

Steve Martorano 
Our pleasure. Let's begin by finding out who you are. Tell me about yourself. How old are you? Where were you born? What was your family like?

Gordy Hiltz 
Thirty-nine years old. Born and raised in Shelton, Connecticut, with two parents -- still together. Dad is a retired cop. Mom is still working as an interior designer. And I have a little brother and sister. Well, younger brother and sister. 

Steve Martorano 
Ah, we get to that point where they're not little anymore. So it sounds like and again, I've heard this. It sounds like your typical front of the Wheaties box or the cereal box family. The all-American family dad's a cop, mom's a working mom and everything is just fine. And then of course, as so often happens, substance abuse descends upon it. It's a family disease. So I know they were all affected one way or another. What...your situation involves the alcohol, correct?

Gordy Hiltz 
Correct. I was the I guess "straight edge" was the old term. I'd never touched a drug or alcohol all the way through high school. I was actually a sophomore in college when I had my first drink. I finished drill instructor training at Merchant Marine Academy to be a drill instructor for the next class coming in. And we had some drinks to celebrate finishing the training and somebody gave me a shot. And that was my first drink. And then it was just kind of it was a social thing in the beginning. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah. How old were you at that point?

Gordy Hiltz 
Nineteen.

Steve Martorano 
Nineteen years old. "Straight edge," of course, is a term used to describe young people. You don't hear it much anymore, I'm sure so -- it's not it wasn't a sort of formal group. But it identified a behavior where these kids were not only not messing with drugs or alcohol, they were opposed to the notion of anybody doing it, right? 

Gordy Hiltz 
Yeah, I had a ton of friends doing it. It was just...I made sure that they knew I was adamantly against it myself.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, yeah. Did you choose that attitude? Because maybe dad's a cop. And...

Gordy Hiltz 
My father actually was pretty good about it. I would go to sleepovers and whatnot as a senior in high school for prom or whatever. He just says, "Is there going be alcohol?" And I say, "Yep." And he'd say "Is it gonna be drugs?" I said, "Probably marijuana." And he'd be like, "Okay, it's your choice, you know, to do." 

Steve Martorano 
Right.

Gordy Hiltz 
And that's that was just a personal decision of mine at the time.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, Was he law enforcement in the town you grew up in? 

Gordy Hiltz 
No. 

Steve Martorano 
Okay. The likelihood he was gonna wind up arresting you and your friends was minimal. Well, that's good. I mean, so, was there any history in the family? Did you come to find out about alcoholism?

Gordy Hiltz 
Not that I know of officially. I mean, I could kind of take guesses now that I'm, I've been over a year. Yeah. In the program, I can kind of be like, Well, I see the signs in this person. But we don't. There's not a lot of people that that talk about that type of stuff.

Steve Martorano 
No, there's not. Certainly isn't. But this, to your knowledge, there's never been anybody that was treated or...

Gordy Hiltz 
No.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, yeah. So it comes out of the blue. Right? 

Gordy Hiltz 
Right.

Steve Martorano 
You know, what I think what's mystifying to people who have not struggled with this thing? Is the randomness of it, how it guys like you, given that you delay drinking, till you're, you know, almost 20 years old, and bang, you're off to the races. If you have any better understanding of why it happened to you, then, you know, then I might.

Gordy Hiltz 
Not really. For me, you know, I'm sure, like you said, there are all these stories are very similar, but they're, they're also, you know, the unique in their own right. And there are still people to this day, that say, "Oh, it's it's right off the bat, you know, you know, once you take that first drink, that's it, if you're an alcoholic, you're an alcoholic from that second on." Other people be like, well, it's developed over time. I don't have a judgment for that, I'm sure. I've heard stories where it sounds like it affected certain people in that way. But it still affects people even in the recovery differently. Like I said, In the beginning, it was a, it was kind of a social thing, I really only drank when a group would get together go out, and you know, it that type of environment. It was never every day that we'd never before, you know, a night for a class or anything like that. Um, I spent two years out at sea, because of my curriculum. All the ships are dry in America, except for like one company. So we'd go months, you know, without drinking and stuff like that. It was never, and it was there was never a burning desire. Do you know what I mean? 

Steve Martorano 
Right.

Gordy Hiltz 
It was just one of those, "Oh, yeah, there's a bar here. Let's go." And then I went on active duty after that. And again, pretty standard stuff -- mostly social. After work on weeknights, you'd start to have one or two drinks, maybe just to relax with the boys in the Marine Corps, you know, on our unit. And you just split...I mean, you're running every evening, every morning. You're, you know, you're doing your job every day. Maybe get a little bit, you know, more intoxicated on the weekends, you know, and then every once a while, you'd have that real bad one. I mean, I did an Ironman towards the end of my enlistment tour, that was working out easily three or four hours a day just in cardio, you know, running 20 miles a day. For me, I'd finished my 20 miles and I have like, you know, my water and then I'd have a cocktail, maybe after my shower. Again, it wasn't something that really controlled what I was doing. And then come back to regular like you said, regular American Joe lifestyle, you know, the front of the cereal box. I got a job back home, working for Sikorsky Aircraft, I worked in the first shift, you know, tried to climb the corporate ladder, finish my degree. So I took night classes and things like that, I was able to go through college while working a full-time job extra hours taking training there and what have you and continue working out. But I was drinking again every night to relax, I'd come home and you know, I'd be making dinner and I'd have whatever the small glass of bourbon. Then it was two, you know, and such forth. Over time, you know, there are layoffs. Life's not perfect. You know, everybody knows the economy ever since 2008. It's been kind of like a roller coaster. And I've been through multiple jobs never because of performance or anything like that. Drinking never controlled me in that aspect. You know, we wouldn't party on work nights. And I lost a house and then two years after I got out -- a couple of years after I got -- two, three years, I actually realized I did have a little bit of PTSD from my couple of combat tours, and...

Steve Martorano 
Where were the tours? Combat?

Gordy Hiltz 
I spent...I spent 17 and a half months in Iraq. 

Steve Martorano 
Okay.

Gordy Hiltz 
As a Huey door gunner, crew chief for anybody who knows the job in the Marine Corps. There was a really...there was a real dark period, I didn't want to admit it. It hit like a ton of bricks. It lasted for a few months. I definitely drank very, very heavily at the time. Not healthy at all, either mentally, emotionally, psychologically, or physically. However, you want to look at it. I started to recognize that an issue not with drinking but with PTSD and then I started sharing that and the more I talked about it, I became I guess you could say more mentally sound and continued with work-life everything else things were normal. I started taking my MBA program as time went on. And then for me, like you say all of a sudden there's just this kind of moment when the pandemic hit, we ended up working from home. You know, now I'm in the finance industry and in the finance industry there's kind of you know, there are some jokes and stuff you know, get your bottle of really nice bourbon in the drawer whatever for the Friday at four o'clock once the stock market closes and what have you. Well, now we're all on Zoom. And there are guys partners all the way down through you know, whoever and they're like, "Oh, yeah, you know, this pandemic thing stinks well except for the fact that I can have a cocktail at lunch." You know, and there's, it's always been a joke, you know, there's for...now I'm 39 -- and this is only a year ago -- so we're talking 19 years of drinking socially, getting slightly and slightly more heavy over time, I did develop, I ended up getting anxiety, and insomnia were two very normal things. Well, hit COVID. Now I'm alone, isolation for someone who was an alcoholic is horrible. It's arguably one of the worst things for you is to just be totally isolated. Because then...now you also start to slip into like a depression. And it's pretty severe. And next thing you know, I'm treating myself with drinks, and I'm drinking to sleep. And then when you start to drink to sleep, all of a sudden guys are joking about how cocktails at lunch, you're having cocktails at lunch. And the next thing you know -- it happens so fast -- you're...you...it gets to the point where I couldn't type my password to log into my computer without having a sip of vodka.

Steve Martorano 
To steady your hand?

Gordy Hiltz 
Just steady my hand. I didn't even know where it came in. And we're talking a couple of months. I know people who did it I, you know, take the stronger liver stronger, whatever biology. They do it for years and years. And they say that they're good. This. I mean, we're talking like we started working at home and as an April. And we're talking before the end of that summer. You know, and next thing you know, my best friend from college, my, my family notice my wife and my parents...

Steve Martorano 
Let me stop you for a second. What did they...what were they...what did they notice?

Gordy Hiltz 
So I imagine, you know, the anxiety kept getting worse, my number one side effect on anxiety was vertigo. Which is really awful because all of a sudden, like you, 're grabbing things. Like you and I would have a conversation right now I'd be holding on to the table for my dear life. As I said, I would actually take sips of a drink, it would stop that feeling. I did see someone professionally who prescribed me benzos (Benzodiazepines) for a little while. I really really do not like the way that they made me feel. I'm still kind of anti, a lot of drugs, I'm not straight edge, obviously. I've done more reading and research, I'm a little more open-minded when it comes to discussing things. When it comes to taking it I you know, I don't really. I mean, I very rarely take Advil or Tylenol, you know, even when I was drinking. They would notice like...my dad...I'd be talking to my dad all of a sudden I'm holding on to like a fence post. Do you know? And so they noticed these things. And I didn't discuss my mental health issues at all. So none of them knew that I ever saw someone. None of them knew that I was on benzos. And when you're coming off the benzos, it's even worse, because I didn't like the way they made me feel I quit cold turkey not knowing that that could be a problem. 

Steve Martorano 
Yep.

Gordy Hiltz 
I had a hard time walking to the mailbox for a couple of weeks when I did quit cold turkey. I knew there would be probably some sort of withdrawal just off in theory. It wasn't until you know, however, later when I did actually check into Retreat (Behavioral Health) in New Haven. We were like yeah, people with benzos have to be weaned off. It's nice that healthy. You can have seizures and things.

Steve Martorano 
Alcohol has to be handled very, very carefully in terms of detox as well. So the family noticed is that you notice it for sure. even notice...

Gordy Hiltz 
Yeah, I mean, the fact ...the fact that I'm waking up and in order to log in, I'm having vodka in my orange juice, you know, to stop shaking my hand, I'm like, "Wow." But the thing is when you're...when you're in it, you're just in it. You're like you know something's wrong. You do things like you stop looking in the mirror. That's something I tell people like as a recovery coach professional that I wanted to get into. I'm into it now. But that's one of the things you look for. As long as a person has the desire to recover. That's the first step. But the thing is, when you're in it, and you're in a deep, you don't think about that. And not only that, you start to do weird things. Like I'll ask people do you avoid the mirror? You know, because the thing is you physically changed because of it and a lot of people know that and they avoid seeing the physical change because then it's almost like a slap in the face for me. One of the things that my family probably noticed was full jaundice. My eyes were yellow, my skin was yellow.

Steve Martorano 
You were pounding pretty good?

Gordy Hiltz 
Oh, I thought I was. Compared to some of the guys I was at Retreat with they said they were drinking more. I'm like, I don't know how you were I... But yeah, I was..I was definitely hitting him pretty hard.

Steve Martorano 
You know it...again, the stories, as I said, are all different. And you're certain is because the other cases I've talked with people who have alcohol disorder problems, it was a more obvious trajectory. It began sooner. There might have even been a history in the family. It ratcheted itself up. Blackout drinking. Did you have blackout drinking?

Gordy Hiltz 
I did. And it's only because I was told. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, yeah. People don't understand what that means. It doesn't mean you actually pass out. It just means that you do not recall the events that occurred while you were drinking heavily. So, viewers have an insidious sense of it, like this thing crept up on you. (It) was obscured by a couple of other external factors, your military experience, and the anxiety that was causing, and the financial crisis. So that allowed the alcohol is sort of creep into your life, it seems anyway.

Gordy Hiltz 
That sorta makes sense. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, until it became a full-blown problem. So that's the point at which I'm most fascinated, I guess. They call it "a moment of clarity" or whatever. It's a moment when the person abusing drugs or alcohol suddenly says, "Well, this is no longer good. It's not working. I've got to get help." Tell me about that moment for you.

Gordy Hiltz 
So it actually kind of came in two parts. Very, very clearly two parts. So I was saying my best friend, my best man at my wedding, my college roommate, he of a sudd... He lives in Florida. And my parents called him and said, "Hey, we got to step in and tell Gordy, he needs some help, you know, something's, it's not right." And he drove through the night. He didn't even wait. He got in his car. Put work aside, put off...he owns his own company...energy company. He moved his appointments, and he got...he drove straight through the night to my house. He walked through the door before anybody, because my family and I have never, like, I've always been kind of a black sheep, so, and they can say...they can say things that really are just inappropriate. And kind of condescending to people. It's just kind of how they are. And your family knows how to push your buttons. You can call it good intentions, bad judgment. 

Steve Martorano 
Yep. 

Gordy Hiltz 
And he knows that part of them. And so he was like, I showed up to make sure that at least you had somebody who has a positive support system for you. 

Steve Martorano 
He was ready for you and...

Gordy Hiltz
Yeah, exactly. He's like...he's like, I didn't want you to face that and just get absolutely ripped to pieces and not have you know, anybody to hold on to. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah. Was their attitude was...what? Hostile or angry or...

Gordy Hiltz 
No, they don't...no, no, they... I want to say it was almost like, something just needs to be done. It was very neutral. He walks through the door. And in the moment of clarity as soon as you walk through the door, that's when I realized I was depressed. He hugged me, I just started crying. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah. Yeah.

Gordy Hiltz 
And I don't...I don't usually cry...for things in general. And, and I just started crying so hard. And all of a sudden, it was like giving up. It was like finally throwing in the towel and saying I'm done fighting.

Steve Martorano 
Yeah, that surrender moment is also a common occurrence for people where they just know that this is beyond me to figure this out. You've been sober now for over a year, is that right? 

Gordy Hiltz 
Fourteen months in two weeks, I think.

Steve Martorano 
Congratulations. That's great. And you went to Retreat for your...for your treatment.

Gordy Hiltz 
Yeah. 

Steve Martorano 
Do you now identify as an alcoholic? 

Gordy Hiltz 
Yes. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah. That's very hard. For some people, they resist the notion that for the rest of their lives, they will have to accept the fact that they're this, this, this, and I'm an alcoholic, you don't have a problem with that?

Gordy Hiltz 
One of the funny things is, is alcohol extends the lie especially when they're deep in it. And the other thing is, you're supposed to learn humility from your disease. That was one of the things I really needed to learn the most. I was always like, I can do this I'm I still perform while, you know, nothing. Even though I'm full jaundice, my mind was still sharp. And there is but my body was breaking down. And I'm, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm fine. I don't even feel a hangover. You know, stuff like that. Well, if I was really in trouble, I'd feel a hangover. You make these excuses. And I'm like, I can handle this, I can handle this. And it was that cockiness where people would be like, Oh, do you have a problem? And I'd look you straight in the face and say, "No it's my solution." You know, or I tell you, "You know, you're my problem right now and this is going to be my solution." You know, or whatever. And I was brutally honest, I never hid from it. I'm hiding from things...I hid from my PTSD. Do you know? And I hid from that problem for years, and it ate me alive inside. And you don't it's not healthy. It's just not healthy to hide from things. And I think one of the biggest problems especially for alcoholics, addicts, even I think it's less so today for people with anxiety and depression, but they had it as well. This is just an opinion is there's a stigma. There's a stigma around...around it, maybe if a person overcame cancer, right. And they applied for a job. And they were a cancer survivor. Do you think the people hiring them would be like oh, you're a cancer survivor and have a bad stigma there? A lot of people don't like to see alcoholism or addiction as a disease when medically it's been proven as a disease. There's actually a different way the brain operates when it comes to certain things. And while I'm...I'm an alcoholic, but I haven't had a drink in 14 and a half months. I know it's a problem, but it's a problem that I'm working to overcome. I do things on a regular basis to make sure I'm you're not cured -- that would be great -- if you could take a pillar or a needle and you just never, that whatever that issue in your brain is is gone. Hey, yeah, great. That'd be awesome. But it doesn't exist. And so I need to just live. Live who I am, accept who I am except my problem, and overcome it on a daily basis.

Steve Martorano 
Do you experience any cravings? Do you ever think about gee it would be great to have a drink?

Gordy Hiltz 
I've heard stories of people that actually change routes driving home. It's strange to say I'm lucky in the fact that I can drive fast liquor stores and it doesn't bother me. But it's true. I know people who literally cannot dry past liquor stores, or they can't take a bus route that has one on the route. I don't have that, thank God. Just a couple of days ago, I happen to be driving past a microbrewery that makes good barbecue. And it was just a nice fall evening. And I was like, man, it would be really nice to have a beer. Like not, you know, not chug beers, not this, it would just be nice to taste a beer. I can't do that. If I do that, there's it's literally a cliff. You know, that's one of the things you have to admit one drink. There's no such thing as one drink.

Steve Martorano 
You're interesting in that regard. Because you...as you know, there are many groups now who are working along the lines of -- well, they call it California sobriety. I don't know if you've heard about this. It's the notion that someone with an alcohol problem, who addresses it with treatment can be brought back to a social drinker, someone who no longer is in the grip of the alcohol or abusing it, but can have a drink or wine with dinner. That's not for you. correct?

Gordy Hiltz 
Not a chance. Definitely not now. So the reason I said two steps for the clarity moment, the first one was that surrender, like I told that we just talked about.

Steve Martorano 
Right.

Gordy Hiltz 
Hugging...hugging my best friend like emotionally, mentally, psychologically, physically. I fell into his arms and just cried, and I knew that was it. I actually went to Retreat twice in the same summer. Now mind you, up until this crash over those several months. I didn't recognize any sort of issue at all. And here I'm at Retreat, I went through a detox then they're like, oh, by the way, you're staying here. For rehab. I fought it tooth and nail, like, there's nothing wrong with me. I just went too far. I just need to put myself in check all this other stuff. By the time I left Retreat, that time, I admitted I had a problem. I admitted I was an alcoholic. I didn't drink for the 28 days I was there. I didn't drink for the whole month after I left. Then I got laid off again. The company, that everybody was pulling their money out of the market. And the company ended up downsizing by 20%. Because we were just bleeding money off of investments. They were great. They were like, look, every one of us partners everything else will write you letters of recommendation. Will hook you up with job interviews. Everything else. They were so good. I thought I was okay. And I was you know, because of how positive they were in the way they handled it. And then I had a bachelor party the same weekend. And I'm going...

Steve Martorano 
Oh.

Gordy Hiltz 
...all right. You know what? I haven't had a drink in two months. I feel pretty good. I have it under control. Like you said this California, whatever. I'm just going to have a couple of drinks at the bachelor party because hey, I got laid off. We're going golfing. I'll do it during the day while I go off. Not a big deal. I won't go out that night. Yeah, you know what, I ended up doing three straight days of drinking. Mentally, I was like, trying to jump right back in the pool. When I got out. Sixty days clean. You're not fully purged or detoxed, so to speak. But you're pretty far along, like as far as like, the biology is concerned. 

Steve Martorano 
Absolutely.

Gordy Hiltz 
Three martinis and I were destroyed. Back when I was you know, drinking very, very heavily. three martinis would have given me just a nice buzz. But here I am that weekend going, "Oh, yeah, I got this." No. Absolutely not. But did it stop me? No. All of a sudden here I am with hiding the bottle in my trunk. This is how stupid you get. I called my wife. We have a...we have a...he's two and a half now, my son. And I called her like 11 o'clock knowing she's the only one home with him. And its liquor stores are closed because it's Connecticut. It's Sunday. I went to a local pub. I couldn't drive. So I was like, Hey, can you come to get me? She's like, no, I have our son, but I'm not waking him up to come to get you. So she called my dad. All of a sudden I turn around my dad's right next to me -- and he lives like a solid 35 minutes away. And I'm like, "Ohhhhh shit." Excuse me. 

Steve Martorano 
That's okay.

Gordy Hiltz 
And he goes, "et's go." And I'm like, "Alright." We get in the car and he goes. "You know, I'm taking you right back to Retreat, right?" And I'm like, I just want to go...I fought him for the car ride. I got back in there. I ended up waking up because I had only drunk for three days only. But still, it was...like I said that's where the one drink doesn't exist. It was supposed to be the one drink for golfer a couple of drinks during golf and ended up turning into three days of nonstop drinking. 

Steve Martorano 
Yeah.

Gordy Hiltz 
And so it is -- it's a cliff. And I was real mad at myself. There's something saying put down the bat and pick up the feather duster. Because sometimes you can beat yourself up worse than anybody can do anything for you -- or say to you -- and all I'm thinking about is my kid because for that whole month I was home from Retreat I spent every moment with him. He got used to me being the one person on The bed, you know, rocking them to sleep. Because when I was working, I got to see him 15 minutes a day because you're trying to climb that ladder, you're, I'm commuting two hours to New York City each way, and I'm working 10 hours a day, I'm not seeing my kid. Do you know? And but then I got to spend some serious time with him -- and I've always wanted to be a father my whole life -- it just...I'm like, "What were you thinking? Are you serious?" Do you know? And that was the second moment of clarity where I was like, he's literally my angel from God. And that time at Retreat when I went through the counseling, apparently, I did it in such a different manner. That's where I went from, like, back in the back of my head, I'm an alcoholic who could have a couple of drinks to not a chance. I'm gonna ruin my life, you know. And I, they ended up having me work with people coming out of detox while I was there, to help them not be so on edge like I was my first time. They were letting me co-teach some of the classes. I asked my counselor for homework every night. I wasn't one of those that would just go hang out in the lounge or hang out in the cafeteria. I don't smoke. You know, so I spent all my time reading and asking for homework and just kept...I was reading how to treat anxiety and depression without prescriptions or without any medication. You know, I'm reading "the big book," I'm reading books on alcoholism and different types of mental issues that people go through. I was just like, give me more I was doing self-assessments that I was assigned. And they saw that and which was cool and they really...they nurtured it. They were the ones who recommended when I got out...because one of the things of treating anxiety, depression without medication in the top five -- well, there's only seven -- but in the top five is life's purpose, have a purpose in life, and have a purpose in what you do for a job or a career.

Steve Martorano 
And that's...and that's resulted in you making a radical change...

Gordy Hiltz
Yes.

Steve Martorano 
... career-wise. You have recently, as you told me earlier, been certified as a recovery coach?

Gordy Hiltz 
Joi (Honer) from Retreat Behavior. She and I hit it off very, very well -- right from the beginning. I was the first person she let chair the meeting -- the Thursday night AA alumni meetings, and I started to tell her that I was very interested in service and giving back and helping others and things like that -- and having more of a purpose in my life, as opposed to chasing the dollar. My whole life was about...success was defined by how much money you made. And it's just not true anymore. Look at I'm happy...this past year with my son has been, I can't even put into words, it beats every dollar I ever made. And she says, "Well, there's a program called CCAR. Why don't you look into it and start with becoming a recovery coach." So I did sign up. And I never looked back. I took class after class after class every month for a few weeks a month for June, July, August, September, and I sat on the board, on the first...at the end of the first week of October. And I just got certified as a recovery coach professional...

Steve Martorano 
Congratulations.

Gordy Hiltz 
...yeah, for addiction.

Steve Martorano 
You know, it's amazing about these stories about substance abuse. The people who managed to get out the other side, turn their lives around. Not all of them, some of them, take the path you have chosen. But all of them have the same story of a richer, fuller life, a life that is so infinitely better than when they were abusing substances that they can't even imagine ever going back. Where do you see the future for yourself with regard to helping others?

Gordy Hiltz 
So one of the big things I've learned is, and one of the reasons I relapsed after that month -- when I got laid off, I didn't talk to anybody about it. And I just went and thought I could handle it. I had plenty of people who are alumni from Retreat that I could have called for support. And they talked about your support network is one of your major tools when you're in recovery. I ignored that. And I don't do that anymore. And in fact, I host a Saturday night, dinner, and board games and just or just hangouts at my house for alumni and anybody from the local AA, that's going to continue. I'm going to start doing recovery -- I just got certified. I'm looking at the local sobriety centers, different retreat areas around the Danbury area because it's the area of Connecticut I live in, and hopefully getting involved there. So it's a full-time job -- helping people who, regardless of what step they are in the process of recovering either the beginning where they're still using but they know that they need help, all the way through, you know, being back in the community and serving you know, providing service to others themselves. But along the way, because just like you know, I said my mind is always relatively sharp, but I've always been hungry for knowledge. I love reading and taking courses and being challenged. I'm going to continue taking classes every chance I get and you know, who knows, maybe becoming I can't predict the future maybe a counselor one day I don't know if that's the route I'll take but I hope to go down the path and just learn more and more and more about the disease and how it affects not only alcoholics but people with drug addictions. And then, like you said, on the Behavioral Corner you come into all types, even mental illnesses, something I'd like to add in there, you know because a lot of times they're coupled. 

Steve Martorano 
Yes, they are.

Gordy Hiltz 
There really...they're very, very coupled. And then because I am a veteran and I hid from, from some of the things that I was dealing with, I would also like to at least have, I don't want to say I'm gonna focus only on veterans but I would definitely like to, to specialize has some sort of special specialization and time that goes back into the veteran community and people who are struggling in the veteran community.

Steve Martorano 
Well, Gordy, good luck with all that I mean, you are your stories is an inspiration. And again, we're reminded that you know, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, you got to go looking for it. Congratulations on the sobriety and certification is a coach and we wish you nothing but smooth sailing ahead, pal. Thanks for hanging with us. Here on the Corner. Take care. See you next time.

Retreat Behavioral Health 
Retreat Behavioral Health has proudly been serving the community for over ten years. Here at Retreat, we believe in the power of connection and quality care. We offer a comprehensive holistic and compassionate treatment from industry-leading experts. Call 855-802-6600 or visit us at www.retreatbehavioralhealth.com to begin your journey today. 

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